Mathlete in Current Events

I am not cut out for a desk job. Particularly one that requires me to be on a computer all day. I can barely handle the few hours I spend studying for my physics class at my computer. I bit off more than I could chew with this class. It is not a math class but it is math-heavy and I have a lot of things working against me. I am not math intuitive, for starters. I know what my knowledge gaps are so I have been doing crash courses on them at Khan Academy. Khan Academy is a non-profit that provides free education to anyone, anywhere, online.

I am a slow learner, evidently, kind of the way I am a slow reader. I need to pause, overthink it, ask questions and then troubleshoot. I am lost with the physics questions because I am out of touch with basic algebra, and trigonometry. I have to perform a lot of math just to get the numbers for the formulas. Before that, I have to use basic algebra to reconfigure the formulas. Then I have to actually do the formulas and solve the question. We are only doing kinematics and I can tell that this is just the refresher portion of the class. We need to be comfortable with it going forward and I am far from comfortable.

I left class stunned on Wednesday. We have seven days until the next class. In that class, we will be preparing for our first test next Monday. I have been studying hard every day. Everybody else in my class is fresh out of high school. This is an adult ed class and I am the oldest person there by a lot. The math we are doing is second nature to them. They’re just applying what they already know to what we are learning. I feel like a lost cause because I don’t even have that base knowledge.

I now understand the kinematic formulas a lot better. I understand the principles of what we are doing, at least. I am trying to get a hang of the trigonometric ratios. We started to measure relative motion and vectors in 2d. I was so lost when he was going over examples with us but I have a better understanding now. However, applying what I know is a different story but that takes practice. I see a math tutor on Wednesday, I hope that I’m not beyond help. I haven’t attempted the kinematic practice questions we got yet but that is my plan for tomorrow. I will be doing practice questions for everything. Repeatedly. I bombed when I tried to do them in class on Wednesday.

I’m not a mathlete but I am starting to develop a passion for this. It’s fucking torture but I did sign up for this class because I wanted a challenge. Khan Academy has everything so I want to get in touch with everything again. I have nothing better to do.

I spent most of my day laying in bed. I did that yesterday also. Seasonal depression? I think so. I feel so uninspired. I have no motivation. I feel bummed out too. Earlier, I was thinking about how all of the planets are going direct right now. Things feel stale. I’m also clumsy. I have Pluto entering my 10th house in a couple of weeks. Pluto represents the subconscious forces, it is also associated with renewal and rebirth and the 10th house is career, status, reputation, and purpose. I only have Jupiter in the 10th house. That sounds like a complaint. Who wouldn’t want Jupiter in their 10th house? The house of expansion. My Jupiter is Aquarius. I feel like I haven’t had the level of success one would expect here because I am not in my purpose. I am not serving others, yet. That is why I am in school.

I was talking with an online friend who lives in Texas last night. To borrow a term, I can tell that she is waking up. The “Great Awakening”, almost every movement thinks they are having it. I call those the great fakenings. I don’t even want to get started on that. Michelle, the friend, is where I was just before I hit the bottom of the rabbit hole. I got her started. It’s going to be a rough ride. The revolution that is coming will not be televised for it is not one that will be external. It is one that will be internalized. Reality is broken because we are broken. Those who are healing themselves are the ones who will change it. Blah, whatever.