Feeling okay. in Since OD is shutting down....

I slept and laid in bed until about noon today and then went to the gym. I was only there for about a half hour but it's helped my mood. I have to work here soon and pretty excited actually because I already have my car note money so whatever I make tonight and tomorrow night I can spend on whatever I want which means groceries and a new pair of jeans. So happy lol.

That guy was the first thought in my head when I woke up and it's driving me crazy that he doesn't try and get ahold of me. I deleted that app on my phone so all the people I blocked are able to text or call now. I would love to hear from him, even if it was just him telling me why he doesn't like me anymore. It sucks to not know why. I know I'll be just fine whether I ever know or not but it still bugs me because I liked him and was so thrilled to have a new person in my life.

Oh and there's these 3 girls that I work with that are nothing but drama. So annoying. The one chick, Katy was supposed to hook me up with her cousin but then apparently, this other girl spent the night with him the other night and chick #3 told me about it. Well, yesterday while I was at work waiting to clock in, the girl that spent the night with him came over and sat down by me and told me nothing happened and he still liked me and wanted to get to know me. I told her to have him message me on Facebook but he hasn't as of yet. I would like to talk to him but I don't like the drama that surrounds him and the whole situation so if I don't hear from him, it's no big loss. I don't like drama and can't stand being upset or letting those kinds of people into my life so it is what it is.

Ok so I'm off Friday the 4th. I'm glad to be off work but I think my brother wants us to go to our parents house and I really don't want to. I can't stand being out there because their house stinks and my Dad has this thing where whenever we are all together, he becomes a really big asshole, doesn't talk and makes everyone super uncomfortable. I guess if my brother and his girlfriend are going, I'll go but I'll be taking my own car so when my Dad starts acting like an asshole, I can get in my car and get the fuck out of there. I was really hoping that guy would've stuck around because then I could have spent the 4th with him, kissing underneath the firework driven sky. sigh

Oh! And then I was at work yesterday when this older lady I work with come up to me and ask me why the fuck I dated the registered sex offender! She of course said his name and what not but I was immediately pissed that he is still telling my co-workers that him and I dated! She said he told her I was annoying! Um okay! Well i was fucking pissed so I emailed him and this is what I said:It is unclear to me why you feel its necessary to tell my co-workers that im your ex but it would super nice if you would stop. Its annoying and embarrassing. I have a boyfriend now. Im sorry I ever had anything to do with you but now im over it and moved on so im going to start denying any involvement with you. Good luck and goodbye.

He hasn't responded and I highly doubt that he will but what pisses me off is we were broke up before I even got my job there and he just keeps telling people about us! It's super embarassing now because that older lady knows his past and told me that she wanted to punch him in the face! She asked him why I would date him which was pretty funny but if he doesn't stop, I'm seriously gonna go into his work and tell him off! I used to think it was okay because it let me know he was still thinking of me enough to tell my co-workers that we dated but I don't find it cute anymore. I'm over it. I know I lied saying I had a boyfriend but I wanted to hurt him. I'm just so over that guy because he would get so pissed at me if I told people about us or our problems but we've been broke up for almost a year and yet, he keeps bringing me up! He's just a fucking asshole and I seriously can't believe I wasted my energy on him.

I emailed that guy. This is what I said: So I'm not sure what happened between us but if I did or said something, I'm really sorry. Even if we never talk again, I want you to know I enjoyed hanging out with you. I'm sorry for anything I could have said or done. I think you are an amazing person with a lot of great qualities. I hope you have a great 4th!!! Take care.

If any of that came off creepy or stalker-ish, I didn't mean it to but I just wish I got to know what happened. I'm hoping he will at least email me back and if he doesn't, then he doesn't but I can say I at least tried.

I just wish I had people besides my family to hang out with on Friday. I really don't want to go to my parents house. I honestly hate being out there. I really don't plan on going so hopefully I can find other things to do for the night. I don't want to spend the night hanging out by myself so hopefully something else will come up.

I'm all ready for work. I've showered and put make up on. I'm really hoping for a good night so I can make a wad of cash. My insurance is going to come out on Friday and I still need to pay the cable bill. There's never a break from the bills and it gets really stressful. I wish I got help financially. It's hard doing it all by myself. I get so fucking tired of it but I just try and remain hopeful that someday I'll find a partner.

Time for work.