Mucked Up in Today

I hesitate. I tremble. I step forward with uncharacteristic uncertainty.
Back and forth I pace, wanting, waiting, stopping, continuing.
Anger bubbles up at the question of my undefined idiom.
Lost in the days which span into weeks and then years is the wounded purpose which was abandoned and now refuses to be consoled.
I leap, splashing down into the vile muck.

What am I?

Like a swollen, moss covered log surfacing from the depths, it turns slowly, defying purchase or stability.

Squeezing tight, my legs kick as I leverage toward shore with my prize.

It’s time to see what remains.