Conversation with his wife in I am I Said.

Two hours last night, over two hours last night on the phone with her. She called me finally.

I'm past upset just SICK. He's fucking insane and mental...just fucking mental!! She's known about every single woman he's fucked while they were married. She's NOT dumb like I thought, she was just, well, a lot like me actually. Wanted so much to save her marriage and just endured so much...I asked her "why" over and over and she said, "I wanted to believe him, I wanted a father for my son and I wanted to keep my mother's house." I about DIED when she told me that when I threw him out and he went there? They resumed their relationship, he told her he left me because he wanted his family back. She knows that was untrue because her daughter-in-law told her no way, that I had enough and forced him out of my home. I told her he had told me that although he HAD to go back there, that he was in a different bedroom and they were living separate lives. NOT TRUE! I broke down and started sobbing and I apologized again. I told her, he was STILL fucking me AND her then and trying to get back into my home. LYING to both of us, again. But it gets worse, much, much worse.

I told her I had given Chris $5,000.00 when Ben needed braces. Because he was bitching and moaning about not having the money. He never paid a fucking dime towards his son's braces - nothing. She asked me if I got the money back because he told her he owned me $7500.00 and paid me back from their tax refund. I said, "No, he told me he sold stocks...and had to pay $700.00 in taxes...check your tax records Carol for that year and that should help you figure out the stock situation." She asked if I knew what he did with the other $2500.00? I said, "I have no idea, that was right after I threw him out and I wasn't talking to him for a few months after that."

This past Christmas, the entire family was at the house, she said they were doing great together, cooking together, waiting for family to come. Well, he suddenly gets a call and he tells her he has to go to the jail, he's on call. Ugg...he leaves the house at 10 AM. A friend of Ben's came over and Ben and his friend went out for a little bit. BEN caught Chris at a highway rest stop fucking some woman in the car!!! On Christmas DAY! With his entire family at home. Ben went home and told his mother. She was PISSED!!! When his parents and brother got to the house, Chris came home and the shit hit the fan. Then and only then did she break and made him sleep in the other room. She learned, because he told her, he'd tell her ALL ABOUT ALL the other women...and there are many, many, many...the one on Christmas Day? A 30 y.o. heroin addict...he was on the phone with her, in front of his fucking wife, telling her he loved her while this "woman's" boyfriend was on the phone too. He'd done this over and over and over again with her and she always knew. I asked her if his parents are disgusted with me for sending them the letter too. She said "No, Tamara, actually Wendy cried to me about it. She said she really liked you and that you were a very good woman. Doug, his father, also told me, "No Carol, Tamara is actually a lot like you, she's not a bar whore or whore...she's a good girl and she really loved our son." So she apologized to me again, I am apologizing to her. Ugh.

He's a sick sick man...sick!!!! He's been fucking heroin addicts, hookers, online hookups. And I know he cheated on me too...this new one? Ha, she knows more about her than I do. She's not only stripped, she's been a prostitute, drug addict and been charged with a bank robbery with her old boyfriend and he knows all of this and still...

She said she is so, so sorry, she assumed I was just another "whore" - and had she known I was a good woman, she would have called me and told me all about him. She said Christmas Day and Ben seeing him was the beginning to the end for her finally. He was already fucking his new filthy hole at that time too and she knew it because he told her, he told her about all of us!! Then when she got my letter, that was IT! That's when she got an attorney and filed for divorce. Her attorney listed "Adultery and Abandonment" as the reasons. He's STILL fucking crying to her about how miserable he is living with this new one who is knocked up and moaning about not having any money, etc!!!! She said she's FINALLY done being taken by him and now it's HER TURN to take him and she intends to take every fucking penny she can from him. She's going to play dumb as the divorce goes on. He has no idea I am leading her to secret bank accounts, stock fund, CD's...etc. He has no fucking clue I've talked to her sister and now her. We're all keeping quiet. They go to court on the 14th. He has no attorney. She wants the house, his pension, for him to pay the entire mortgage, alimony, child support...e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I told her to look for all kinds of life insurance policies too. Because he does a lot of this stuff at work? Subpoena his computer records from work...and subpoena TD Bank for all accounts there.

Every fucking story of every fucking time he's done this to her? Matches exactly the same Marc. Each one is the same...she's counted, in her 23-years of knowing him? 107 different women. She finally explained to me she hung onto that marriage knowing that the longer they remained married, the more she'd get money-wise. ;) Smart cookie. But still, at the same time, it boggles my mind she knew all this and could even stand to be anywhere near him. Never mind continuing to sleep with him!!!! He never uses a condom!!!!

Last night I was shattered, again...feeling so fucking stupid...her and I were crying to each other, she told me NO ONE but me, Ben, her and his parents know about Tiarra the heroin addict he was fucking in his car at a rest stop on Christmas Day.

I told her ANYTHING she needs me to do, I will. I again told her I would stand up in court and admit to adultery to help her finally hit him the ONLY way possible, in his wallet. She's going to be 60-years-old, her mother is 88-years-old...she's frantically trying to save their home. I told her I really wish she had called me at the beginning and let me know...that if she had I would have not only smashed him in the face, I would have spit in his face and threw him and ALL of his things on the fucking street!!!

I am just ... wow. Now you know me, I am NOT stupid by any means, I am even street smart and very intuitive to everyone around me. How the fuck was I taken so badly? That's what keeps pressing on and on in my head. How was I so fucking STUPID???? How did I ever, ever believe him and believe what he told me and really think that I could fucking change him, that he really was "so in love" with me and "the best thing to ever happen to me"??? How is he able to do this to intelligent women? She's not dumb by ANY means...in fact, it's really really fucked up because both her and I learned last night, we're very, very much alike. She has a college education too! Wow. She said to me, "Tamara, only you could possibly understand how I feel, at least you weren't married to the fucker." I said, "No, but he asked me to marry him over 100x while married to you...so had he divorced, OMG I might have married this piece of shit too!' She said, "oh, I know...he told me he was going to marry you and how in love with you he was and STILL is. Even his parents told me you were different and they really thought, we all did, that you'd be good for him. But as you see now, know matter how wonderful a woman you are or how much you love him or how good to him you are, it's never enough."

So much more, but that's enough...I feel numb...angry...used...disgusted with myself for being so fucking blind and I so so so want to let my "father" do what he wants to this prick...but I don't want that on my conscious.

How the fuck could I have been so blind and dumb?!? How does he keep getting away with this?

I'm not sure I can ever, ever trust another man again now. Ever.

Fucking cocksucking narcissist sociopath!!!!