Risings in Current Events

‘Tis the season for seasonal depression. It isn’t soul-crushing but it makes it hard to be motivated.

Last night, I had a movie night with my niece and nephew. Then my sister and I watched Wild America. I was so pumped when she told me that she found it. I went to every thrift shop between mine and her place and left empty-handed. I hit up every big box store along the way also because I am looking for stackable storage containers for the fridge. Amazon it is.

I noticed that once I get it in my head that I want something I become obsessed until I have it. I lose sleep, not literally. I will waste a whole day shopping for whatever it is that I want. I need to work on that. I have better things to do.

I visited my mother today so I could borrow her printer so that I could print some of my bank and credit card statements. I’m building a case that I’m calling ToniGate. Toni is my roommate. In November she decided that she will pay rent in full and I will pay for everything else. I was busy with school until I had two weeks between courses. I noticed that I am paying more than $200 a month with this new payment structure. I have all of the receipts, which she will never look at, but I need to get them together so that I can show her. She is getting free labour from me as well. I need to tell her exactly what it has been like living with her before we renew this lease. While discussing moving in together, she sold herself as a responsible adult but what I got was a lazy child with a bad attitude and an alcohol problem.

Nobody likes self-awareness but those stuck in their child-like psychology hate it more than the rest of us. It is hard to add self-awareness to somebody that is not evolved. I’m pretty good at getting into people’s heads but the opportunity has to be timed perfectly. That is how I got her to see how her drinking was affecting me. Since we talked about the alcohol problem she stopped drinking. Now I need her to know about the financial abuse.

She mentioned before that she wants us to move. I am open to that but I do like it here. This is a great apartment for what we are getting. She wants newer appliances and more space. That is just newer appliances that I will have to maintain and more space that I will have to clean. We don’t get a lot of light in from the outside, that is the only thing I don’t like about this apartment. If we find somewhere with big windows that don’t have trees blocking them I am game. I am open to it.

She asked to borrow my car so that she can visit her friend this evening. On one hand, I don’t want to share that privilege with her. I worked hard to have that privilege. Then on the other hand, my god please get out and do something with people.

I applied for a part-time position in the area. I have time for a casual evening/weekend gig. I am only scheduled twice next week but that’s what I had scheduled for the last few weeks also. I have been picking up shifts. I am hoping for more opportunities to pick up shifts but those don’t open up without something bad happening to someone else. My team will return to normal service hours soon enough. This too shall pass.

My finances seem to be weighing on my mind heavier than usual. Astrologically speaking, Aires and Taurus are the main characters this year starting in March. Technically, horoscopes apply to the houses which you need your time of birth to unlock and so it is Aires and Taurus risings that are the main characters this year. I am a Taurus rising. This doesn’t mean anything good or bad, just eventful. Lots of character development. Ascendants, risings, are what we are rising into. Taurus is the house of finances and possessions.

Speaking of Astrology, I am still slowly learning more through my own birth chart. I think I found my social anxiety in it. My Chiron is in Gemini. It is also in the first house. I’m here to find my voice, sort of thing.

I have a five-day weekend next week and I am looking forward to it. I wasted this four-day one, I feel. I really didn’t. I wanted to relax and so I did but I get restless and depressed. A Capricorn without goals is not a happy cappy.