Figuring out how to feel. in Since OD is shutting down....

I slept pretty good last night and woke up feeling really snuggly and comfortable. It took me a second to realize I still haven't heard from that guy and the longer I go without hearing from him, the less likely I will. I'm trying to convince myself that at least he jumped ship very quickly before I had the chance to fall for him and really get hurt but I admit, I did get hurt. I was so excited to get to know him and see where things could go and have a new person to get excited about seeing and then he just stops contacting me!

I went and worked out for a bit and took a shower. I work in a couple of hours. I keep going from I'll be okay to my eyes filling up with tears. I just don't understand why this keeps happening to me but all I can do is try to move on from it and keep hope that someday I'll maybe find someone who won't just jump ship on me. I just want to understand why.

Maybe I just need to become a heartless bitch that swears off men entirely. I can't put myself out there to get hurt anymore. I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm nothing and I don't have feelings.

It's just crazy how this guy seemed to have feelings for me and everything but obviously it was just an act because if he would have really liked me, he wouldn't have just stopped contacting me. I am so disapointed that I can't even find the right words to explain how I feel. I admit, there's a part of me that is completely heartbroken. It really hurts because I wanted to try with this guy.

I gotta go to the bank and get my car washed before work. More later.