Full circle. in 2014

I'm sure none of you will be surprised at this entry.

Yet again, Chris has failed me as a husband, and father. Surprise surprise.

We've been dealing with Miley and her not going to bed thing, for over a year now. Some of you have been along for the ride. A lot of you have had suggestions, which I'm thankful for, and I've literally tried EVERY one of them, aside from the melatonin.

I've even tried the 'go to bed whenever you want' one... Didn't work.

So basically the other night, we realized that her mind is totally exhausted, but her body won't let her sleep. She is sooooo tired, but shes got so much anxiety, she can't actually STAY in her bed. This all started when Chris quit his job last may/june. He kept having to be gone for 15 hours a day, so by the time she woke up, he was gone, and when she went to bed, he was gone... she never saw him and thats when this all started. He will call it bullshit, but I can bring up my OD diary and show him when all the changes took place.

Lets get down to why I'm here.

Hes never there for me. Like, whenever I need him, no matter what... hes never there. Even when it comes to one of the girls having a little cold or something. He checks out. When I was pregnant and bleeding with Evelyn, he checked out. Thats when OUR relationship fell apart, when I was pregnant with her. He didn't talk to me/touch me/spend any time with me for the entire of the 9m, then after I was pretty much alone. And I've honestly been alone since.

No matter what, no matter the circumstance, if I'm ever overwhelmed and in need of a teeny tiny bit of his help, he shuts down completely. I'm exhausted, I'm tired... I'm tired of being constantly let down by him. And thats one thing that Miley's anxiety stems from, hes constantly letting her down as well.

I wish I never married him.

Kristen <3