Kids now a days in Age 35

I went to pick up my son from kindergarten today. On the walk home we were just chatting. It was his first day back after winter break. I asked if he had a good day at school and if he played with everyone. He stated that he only plays with 2 kids. “I tried to play with (insert name here), but he didn’t want to play with me.” Now I know he’s only 5 and he is barely learning to navigate social anything, but the mom part of me just kicked into worry mode.

Is my kid not making friends? Are they shunning him? Is it something he’s doing?
The reason my thoughts go here is because I have very little faith in the new humans we’re raising now a days. I want to see things through an optimistic lens, but honestly I can’t. Internet on phones was not a thing while I was growing up, and thank God for that. That crap didn’t take off until I was a freshman in college which was roughly 2005.

I think that if social media had existed while I was in school there would have been a lot more suicides, kids on antidepressants, and a bunch of other screwed up things. Simply because adolescents don’t execute the ability to see the far reaching consequences of their actions. Now mind you, I know its not everyone, but now that I have my own little ones things have changed.

I love in a way that is not able to be described. Having a child, feeling them grow within you, them hearing your heartbeat, feeling them through your skin, seeing them as a stranger when born and then become something so much precious as you pour your effort and love and devotion to them....its not able to be put into human words. I am convinced of that. It goes beyond spiritual, nirvana, Heaven....and at the same time, frustrating as hell.

So knowing or even imagining someone else hurting that which you love so dearly. The mere suggestion that someone is causing your child mental and emotional pain is hard to cope with. Because its beyond your control now isn’t it? You can be there, be a shoulder for your kid. Offer unconditional love, but in the end they have suffered that pain. They went through that experience. And they are changed, even microscopically by it.

I want to shield them from all that. I was, and still am, apprehensive about him going to a public school. I am not/still not ready to share him with the world. And he’s amazing. Warm, tender, funny, crazy, lazy, curious, a ray of sunshine. He’s imaginative and he loves to draw. He likes to help me make cookies, He’s affectionate and gives me kisses. I know, I know I am mom and he is like that with me, but he knows nothing yet of ‘putting up a front.’ He doesn’t know how to fake being something else for other people. He’s genuine with everyone.

I’ve taught him to be transparent because I myself can’t stand beating around the bush. Cut the crap and get to the point. That’s my motto. I think he’s learned to be like that as well, but in a fresh way, with tact. He’s emotional. More than I am I think. And I want everyone to love him. I want the world to greet him with a warm hug and love every time they see him. But its not going to is it?

I wish parents/people would explain this part of parenting. That this, this is what makes parenting really hard. I want to maintain his innocence as long as possible. Innocence of a child is like virginity, once you loose it it doesn’t come back.

Sigh.

And I may very well be exaggerating. Thank you for listening.