Saw some post about “me gearing up for the holidays, and realizing i can eat whatever i want this year because i’m pregnant” and what a load of shit being a gestational diabetic from 15 weeks is… not even right.
sometimes i sneak my dessert or bad carbs like chips in at night with peanuts after i’ve taken my blood. they did say we could have dessert a few times a week but they didn’t suggest that you do it after your blood prick so i still feel like i’m cheating! and sometimes my dessert is soda because that’s what i really want. haha.
first dr appt today in about a month, and i’ve been really nervous about it. it’s the worst being unsupervised for a month and also having less pregnancy symptoms like… how do i know he’s alive in there? i feel flutters sometimes but not consistently and i don’t know if that’s the baby anyway, they say first time moms aren’t supposed to feel them until 18 weeks or likely later, and i’ve felt them for a few weeks already. i’ll feel better after my appt (or worse if it’s over). and i’m sure everyone has some worries but the roller coaster of having been through infertility and miscarriage just makes it so much worse. in the beginning, i had dread before the ultrasounds because i was sure there’d be no heartbeat, now i’m desperate for the ultrasound but still feel the dread at the same time…
should just be doppler today as long as she can find the heartbeat but that’s good enough confirmation for me.
my 20 week anatomy scan was moved up a week due to the gestational diabetes appt, so that’ll be dec 14th now. another good milestone to cross.
though i don’t have many symptoms right now, the top of my belly started to pop out so something did change a little recently.
pissed at my husband but can only deal with one thing at a time, haha.
wish me luck!
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