. in In My World

Breathe.
Take a deep breath.
One more.
One more.

5 things you can see:
1.) Homework list
2.) Snapchat notification
3.) 6 cats
4.) paper towels
5.) my bookbag

4 things you can feel:
1.) Shoulder pain
2.) tears drying on my face
3.) rocking
4.) blanket around my shoulders

3 things you can hear:
1.) New song… Ruin my life by census
2.) Athena climbing the cage
3.) The heater

2 things you can smell:
1.) Cats
2.) My deodorant

1 thing you can taste
1.) dry-ish tongue–I should drink something

Again.

5 things you can see:
1.) Play station controller-blue and purple
2.) Switch
3.) Coffee can laying on its side-unopened
4.) Protector’s (do I even still call him that?) tablet
5.) Two duck heads-dog treats

4 things you can feel:
1.) I’m breathing
2.) Glasses on my nose
3.) Leg falling asleep
4.) Smooth keyboard keys

3 things you can hear:
1.) Time machine-knox
2.) Macaroni meowing
3.) Sniffling

2 things you can smell:
1.) Whatever my room normally smells like
2.) My blanket

1 thing you can taste:
1.) Saliva

Again.

5 things you can see:
1.) Turtle pencil sharpener
2.) Wolf fuzzy socks in a ball
3.) Pokémon Advent calendar
4.) Blanket that was supposed to be Bun’s
5.) Nutty buddy box that is now a trash box

4 things you can feel:
1.) Hands are cold
2.) Cold air
3.) Cat fur by my nose
4.) sock seem against my big toe

3 things you can hear:
1.) This time-Arrows in action
2.) Snapchat message
3.) keyboard clicking

2 things you can smell:
1.) Cat food
2.) My nose is runny now and it’s hard to smell

1 thing you can taste:
1.) My mouth

Breathe.
Deep breath in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Deep breath in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Deep breath in.
Hold.
Hold.
Hold.
Breathe out slowly.

It’s cold in here, or maybe calming down made my body cool down, too. Am I calm now? I’m not rocking anymore, my back is killing me, and I have a small amount of focus.

Count....
48 assignments.
16 that I’m putting as low priority because I can retake the class if needed.
2 that I already finished.
1 more that is half done.

11:55 PM. Assignments due tonight are about to close. Do them anyway.

Maybe if I put in all the effort now, My professors will take pity on me. I wish my stupid doctor would just help me with my adhd already. I hate being such a terrible student. I’m okay.

I am okay.

He’s coming home in the morning, it’ll work out. It has to.

One thing after another after another after another after another after another, I need it to stop or take a pause so I can get this shit done. I can do this. I have to.