Car, met that guy, old feelings. in Since OD is shutting down....

I don't have much time as I have to take my car in and get it fixed. Turns out all those engine lights were coming on to tell me I have a bad hub bearing. I don't know how much it's going to cost to fix and I didn't sleep well last night worrying about it. I'm so frustrated because any time things are going too good or I have money in the bank, my car has to break.

Oh and I hung out with that guy last night. He has a nice truck, super nice but I don't see us becoming romantically involved. I just didn't feel anything for him but wouldn't mind hanging out again. He's also 9 years younger than me and that's a major concern because guys have issues being mature and for me, that's just too much of an age gap. We just cruised around in his truck and talked. It was very fun and I would hang out with him again if he asks.

This whole being single thing gets to me at times. I still think about my ex and I'm so glad it's over and he can't hurt me anymore. I wasted a lot of good energy on a very bad person. I try not to dwell on it since I can't change it but I think about it because I don't want to ever forget about it all the way because I want to make sure I never let myself get treated like that again. I will never again let some guy talk to me the way he did, keep me at a distance like he did or just hope that someday he would start treating me like I needed him too along.

It's like now, I know I have way more self esteem then I've had a in a long time. I can't just let everything go anymore. If someone upsets me, I let them know. I'm not this always forgiving, let everything roll off my shoulders anymore and then be pissed off later. I always thought it was better to just forgive and forget but when you aren't calling people out on their shit and just letting everything go, people get used to that and just keep treating you poorly and that's not okay. I refuse to allow people to shit on me and not say anything.

I am really hoping I'm going to get a nap today before work but chances are, it's not going to happen. Gonna try and hit the gym before my appointment and hopefully get the car before I come home. I hate when my car is away from me because I don't trust mechanics at all and the only reason I'm not entirely worried is because the car lot I bought it from is going to take it to a respected shop and make sure I don't get fucked over. I know that labor is going to be more costly than the parts but I just hate my car being away from me. That car is my whole world and I just can't think straight until I get it back.

Time to go get my shit done.