Needed break. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so after that shit storm last night, I decided that I need to do a reset and deactivate Facebook where I can just disconnect. Facebook is a really negative platform that managed to piss me off every single day and I honestly just want to make myself completely unreachable for the people that are out to hurt me and create even more issues! I seriously can’t deal with this shit anymore. I am left to raise a kid by myself, I refuse to take on any more shit that I don’t have to deal with!

I made plenty of mistakes as well but I’m going to focus on bettering myself by taking a break from that super negative platform and work on myself. I gotta start worrying about getting a job after Christmas break and dieting. There’s so much I want to do and it’s time I start doing them. I’ve focused on the negative long enough and what other people that I am starting to wonder if I am the problem.

Something I have to accept is that he’s never going to be held accountable for what he’s done to my daughter and myself and every time you turn around, there’s going to be someone to defend him. As aggravating as it is, I need to just accept it. Turn my pain into power. Use all of this as MY FUEL to do better and be the best person I can be. I don’t have to let the opinion of others make me miserable.

I’m starting to feel a bit better. I didn’t struggle having a voice this morning even though I still sound crappy. My eyes are watery and itchy. I’ve been gargling warm salt water which has helped some.

I just ran some errands. I had to get some new wipers for the car, got a drink at Starbies, and some other stuff from the store. I just wish my voice was back all the way because this is driving me crazy!

My strength and composure is really something I am super proud of. I like that none of this gets to me like it used to. I’m also happy to just walk away from negative people and problems that will never get resolved. My best friend was trying to convince me this morning to just fucking block everybody but they just make new accounts and none of them are EVER going to leave me alone. For me to have any kind of peace, I need to be as unreachable as I can be.

I feel like I’m the problem. I’m the crazy one because I have kept trying no matter how he’s treated me and even after all the awful things he’s done. It doesn’t make sense that I want a court order but I asked him to come with to take her to school.