Quick entry. in Since OD is shutting down....

I'm getting ready for work. I didn't go to the gym today but I played my Just Dance 2 for Wii and feel pretty good. I already cheated for the day and had french toast for breakfast but plan to eat sensibly the rest of the day. I have an appointment tomorrow morning so I think I'll get up eat breakfast, hit the gym and then go get that over with. I feel pretty good today and hoping work goes by super fast because there's this guy I've been emailing for the past few days that seems pretty nice that wants to hang out tonight. We were supposed to Monday night but he said he never got my emails. He hasn't asked for a pic and I have no pic of him so this could be interesting. He says he's more into finding someone that has similar interests that he can get along with and life is too short to worry about what people look like.

The more time goes on the more I worry I'm getting too set in my ways to ever live with other people again. I like having my house the way it is and not having to share anything or have my stuff moved around. I don't care to ever have a room mate again so if I live with someone, I want it to be someone I'm romantically involved with. I'm just worried that if I continue being single and doing my own thing, that at some point I'm not going to care to even find a boyfriend. I go back and forth on it everyday because as much fun as it is to have someone, it's also a lot of bullshit too. Maybe the right one will come along and I won't have to worry so much about the small things.

I'm anxious and nervous about meeting this guy for so many reasons. It's like I'm excited about it until it's about to happen and then I look for excuses to get out of it. I just don't want to end up having feelings for someone and them not feel the same. I've been through that so many times. It's like I try but I don't try. There's also this girl I work with that is trying to hook me up with her cousin. We've text a couple of times but nothing has really come out of it. I guess he's trying to get a job working with us and I'm not sure I like that idea. I don't want to become involved with someone I work with. I don't know, he probably won't like me anyways.

I haven't heard from my Mom since over the weekend. I really wish that she would start setting boundaries with my Dad and little brother. I also wish I could have a good relationship with any of them. I also don't believe I'll hang out with my brother or over at his house anytime this weekend because I don't want to be around too much and I'm already getting sick of his girlfriend. She's such a bitch to him and so ungrateful. My brother pays all the bills, cleans the whole house and lets her use his car and she's still just a complete bitch to him! I just wish he could have picked a nicer girl to have a kid with. I don't know how much I'm gonna be able to handle being around because it's still a very one sided thing between him and I. I had 5 check engine lights come on in my car so I called him and he could have cared less. It's just shit like that that really gets to me and is a reminder why I've stayed away from him before. Nothing with them or with him is ever going to change and it pisses me off that I have to let them into my life for the sake of my niece. I care about that kid so much but I already feel ready to jump ship.

Anyways, I have to finish getting ready for work.