Dilemma - 24.06.14 in Your Face

Moral guidance required.

Had a phone call from my father today. We just chatted generally and he commented that he hadn't been able to get in contact with my eldest brother. I confirmed that he still has the same phone number and my father said he would just try to call again.

The dilemma is this: I know that my eldest brother is likely to be avoiding calls from our father because my brother has closed his business, which my father had loaned him money for, and of which a significant portion is still owed. My brother has all intentions of continuing to repay the loan, but has been worried about how our father will react at the news of the business closing. When I was speaking to my brother at the time he was preparing to close, I told him to contact our father, but he decided not to.

Now, it's not my place to tell our father that the business is closed, but I feel guilty having the knowledge.

The second part is this: my second brother has ignored two calls from our father today (who is clearly making the rounds and contacting each of us today before he goes to Hong Kong for work on Friday). My second brother is still furious after his surgery and complained that our father was calling him when my brother is all screwed up after surgery. I said that he probably doesn't know that my brother just had surgery, and that he had also called me.

The dilemma is this: My brother is a selfish POS who has no time for anyone, least of all our father. I feel bad for our father, as much as he can be a real dick from time to time, this is him reaching out to make contact, and continually being denied by my second brother. Our father hasn't done anything better or worse to any of us siblings, he never beat, molested or abused any of us. We had a decent home and food on the table. There is absolutely no justification for my second brother to cut our father off, other than the fact that he's too arrogant to accept our father's outstretched hand.

So, I feel rotten about this happening, again. I hadn't mentioned my brother's surgery when I spoke to my father because that's just not how our conversations go. My relationship with my father is mine, and so when I speak to him, I ask about him and my step-mother, and he asks about me and my husband.

I guess I'm just feeling sad that my brothers are both acting like this, but they only learned it from our father. I just worry that this is going to continue and one day our father will be gone, and you can't ever take things back.