November 16 2022 - Finding an Identity. in The Beginning

From a very young age, I’ve always had a hard time trying to find my identity or role in life. I take a look to my peers and seeing how they already understand their own personal goals and understanding of their role in life. They are comfortable in their life and I wish for a moment, I could share their feelings. If I could wake up tomorrow and be comfortable becoming a doctor, or an accountant I would. However, ever since I was a kid I find such things to be personally dreary and that I would feel as though my life would be wasted fitting in a role that doesn’t make me happy or at least somewhat satisfied. This type of thought, that has gnawed my brain since I was a child, really does bother me. I am awfully worried of wasting my life and while a job doesn’t necessarily stop you from doing the things you enjoy, I just find myself never being happy in such a dull existence personally.

I hope none of this comes off being naïve or selfish, it’s just a thought that I’ve for a long time that I would like to be able to find the answer for.

“My witness is the empty sky.”
― Jack Kerouac