"Localized" goals-- 179 days counting down in My life

MPRE is done. One done. I took a day off from class and work today.

I can’t tell for sure if I passed it, really. It was definitely harder than I thought. I wish I had studied more.

1:36 PM. Until 6PM when my husband is home, I guess, I’ll aim for 4 hours of studying. I need to treat him better and not put everything on him like that.

Arggg I can’t force myself to move! Okay, let’s change into comfortable clothes. DONE. Okay. Now go fill my water bottle and set up my work station. DONE.

It’s my own fault. I don’t have any friends, and he suffers for it.

Doing my Contract Drafting assignment: I promise myself, even when it feels like I’m taking forever and I’m not accomplishing anything for hours and hours… keep at it. It’s even worse to not keep at it and ignore it because it’s too hard.

Like yesterday afternoon, when I spent 4 hours trying to do the Contract drafting and the MPRE and felt like I accomplished nothing? That was okay. Better than not sitting with it.
Result: 1 hour 28 minutes short of my goal. Not so hot, eh? But I also had to stop at 5:45 PM because husband went home.

Another night listening to my husband and his endless success (I asked questions because I wanted to be a caring wife). I’m here struggling with my life. But it’s okay. I shouldn’t compare. I mean, plenty of successful guys married housewives. It’s an okay dynamic. Better him being the more successful one than me. And I’m always proud showing him off. He’s great. Such a nice guy too, who loves me so much and forgives everything I do basically. I don’t abuse that. I appreciate that.

I need to just be okay with things and keep at it, follow my path. Do whatever I want to do.
I’m really so so so good at wasting time. That’s why I never amount to anything.

I HATE LAW SCHOOL.

But to be fair, maybe I hate really just everything.

I just can’t wait to be DONE so I can finally pursue whatever I want.

9:55 PM. Until midnight. 2 hours of studying/working.
no point regretting what’s past. Only going forward.