Release me from this ego (Part I) in The Tikkun of the Kelim

Trapped inside something that desires getting everything with nothing and giving nothing with everything ~ My piece of fragmented essence yearns to be released ~ free to fly again in the deep ever cosmic universal bath my ego scornfully at times and wantonly often calls Love.

I am pulled whilst pushed on stormy waves ever squinting my eyes in hopes that perhaps my sight might become far beyond a human eye to then grab and hold forever the ultimate freedom of the fragment that was mistaken for a complete soul.

Once again I stumble upon the recognition that only from the environment that I alone choose to build might I then increase my desires for the spirituality which I know we only sustain across many galaxies endlessly sprinkled in universes some yet unexplored.

Once again I seek to devlop the nurturance and supportiveness of many fragments all seeking to increase their spiritual desires that through such an influential bath for the fragments the soul has more truth to become one whole.

Tossing out the 'dirty bath water' is actually a difficult step for the ego clings tightly convinced it needs to associate more closely via falling into other egos' rules and expectations. An insidiously dirty bath water that altho growing cold is familiar enough to anesthetize pieces of thoughts that might promote letting go.

Oh how I struggle. Oh how I slip and fall. Oh how I refuse to give up knowing I must continue to try!!

It is a desperate awareness that I am but a broken little piece that drives me then to seek the spiritual release which may only come about if I can forget what I thought ~ that thought that only wanted and forget how it felt to take for only the ego's sake.

Like circles that go round and round but are closed and become only themselves ~ that is an ego out of any control of the truth. Huge perceptual mistakes made now must be cast onto the sandy rock laced shores from the ocean that then can become calm gentle heaving sighs of relief in what the shore tethered dreamers call waves.

You can not ride a wave that is already engulfed you in its arms.

I am in the arms of the arms of the ocean that remains in an evolving motion across stars and black holes and beyond the curling edges of each universe soon shed.

I once got too close to the shore and the beaches there entranced me that I stayed almost too long.............

(to be continued like this work in progress evolution of a spiritual journey led)