Manifesting: The Sequel in Current Events

My manifesting got worse. I kept it to myself because I didn’t want the thought out in the universe but I borrowed a pan from my grandmother to make angel food cake and she told me that I could return it on thanksgiving. The thought crossed my mind that she wouldn’t be able to make it and she was hospitalized yesterday. We are waiting a few days to see if she will need surgery again. I am allowed to visit her this time, but my body is healing. Everybody is crazy superstitious right now about virus possession so I am not going to visit her. I will call her though.

My roommate had a cold all week. It’s very annoying to witness because she doesn’t cover her mouth. She coughs into the air with her curled tongue hanging out and it grinds my gears to see adults do that. It’s just rude. I knew that my body was going to join the party and go into a healing crisis also. I felt the moment it was triggered at work. I was working too close to the chemical aisle and I could just feel my body reacting to it. The next day I felt as shitty as I always do after I get too close to that aisle. Last night when I was at my sister’s I had a huge sneeze attack and it just went from there. She has airwick on blast in that house which is what my trigger is. I can only tolerate scents powered by essential oils.

I didn’t want to drink last night but I got a little peer pressure from both of my sisters. Miranda is never in town so we drank. It didn’t do a lot of damage but it doesn’t help. I don’t have a nebulizer so I used a little spray bottle to use my colloidal silver. I didn’t expect it to work fast and work this well. I’ll be back to normal tomorrow I am sure of it. I don’t mind this though, I’ve always liked being sick because it’s the only time I can let myself be lazy guilt-free. I am fighting with myself to take it easy, however, because all I want to do is a workout. Which I just might do because I don’t love myself lol.

I’m miserable, however, because I feel spread thin for no reason. I just wanted to come home last night and again this morning. I dismissed that feeling because it was a special occasion with Miranda in town. Melissa and I already planned to make perogies and apple pie. She gets really excited whenever she randomly figures out a way to make something vegan for me. I never made perogies before and they turned out really well. If I do say so myself.

So I come home to the usual. I didn’t come home last night so Toni ate all of the chips, the cookies and any leftovers and then left me all of her mess to clean. She couldn’t even bother to empty the dishwasher. I’m not talking about a few dishes I am talking about crumbs all over the counters, sauces all over the counters, days worth of lunch containers from when she emptied her backpack, empty chips bags on the counter, fruit cores and peels in the sink. I thought I was passed getting upset about this minor issue but I just want to explode on her. I do need to communicate with her. She’s back to drinking, however. Catching her sober will be impossible. This woman does not do self-awareness.

Anyway, nothing is a big deal except my grandmother’s health crisis. I saw it coming back because mainstream healthcare doesn’t understand how the body works in terms of healing. They only know how to attack the symptoms. They never got to the bottom of why my grandmother keeps experiencing what she is experiencing. They just give drugs and do surgery. They farm us. I don’t want to get into germ theory vs terrain theory. I didn’t catch my roommate’s cold. The way menstrual cycles can sync up so can signals of healing. This creates an illusion of contagion. There are many other factors that create an illusion of contagion also but the accepted belief system about it has never been proven. Terrain theory has been proven, in a court of law. Whatever, I don’t want to care right now.

What was stressing me out was not being able to plan a time to study my material from class. I have all day now. My sister was supposed to spend the day and night here at my place but she is staying with our other sister instead. My day just opened up. I can give myself some time to study today and then some.

I was dreading the colloidal silver… there is a very unfortunate side effect I don’t want to get into. I’ll make deal.