Crushed in Current Events

I have been fighting with this booklet all morning. It’s been over seven hours and I’m just not getting it. I haven’t even made it to what we learned on Tuesday. Is this how I am going to feel from now on? I don’t know why I am stressing so hard. I deuced over 7 times today because my body cannot handle this stress level. It’s not like I am even studying for a test. I am just studying to make it make sense.

It’s also a shock to my system that we haven’t even started the curriculum yet. Basically, we are just learning the basics for what we will need to continue the semester. To get people like myself familiar with it again. I assume that we are just recapping grade eleven applied math. I was thrown into twelve because they said I took 40s Consumer math so I should be good to go. That was over fifteen years ago when I took that course. I can’t even do basic multiplication without a calculator because I am out of touch. I can work on that but I just need more time.

So far we covered:
-Rounding off Decimal Places
-The Value and Magnitude of Integers
-Adding and Subtracting Integers
-Integers: All Operations
-Scientific Notation

Today we finish with:
-Exponents and Roots
-Perfect Squares and Cubes
-Conversion Factors
-Property of Numbers

I don’t even want to go in today. I don’t want to go in ever again. I think I will just suffer through it today. I told my teacher at the end of the last class that I was struggling with this. I do need tutoring. There is something that just isn’t clicking and I don’t know what it is. I wish I was available to make it to her tutoring. I just wish that today was over with so that we had our five-day weekend for me to study some more. I hate how shitty this all feels. I keep having to remind myself why I’m doing it. Then I stress myself out even more because I wonder if it will be this hard for every class. Ugh. We shall see if I have what it takes to push through or if I drop out.