Relax in Current Events

I switched my shifts around so that I can be off tomorrow. I will have the entire day to study before my evening class. It’s not like I have a test or exam, I don’t understand why my anxiety has me shook.

I had every intention to study this afternoon after my shift. After my nap I should say. I have a splitting headache, go figure. The only way my anxiety will subside is if do a little bit of light studying.

I’m still gagged from when my teacher mentioned that we will be starting the curriculum next class. It’s like discovering that you’re only doing the warmup after you killed yourself with a new fitness trainer.

I downloaded an app to help me practice basic math. It can get more advanced as I do. I am one part overwhelmed but one part confident in myself to learn. It’s just going to be like training a muscle. Only I’m training to be more “mathletic.” I was playing with a bit over my break today. I just remind myself of all the things I learned over the last couple of years where I started from scratch. I just have to force myself to be passionate about it.

I think it was just a rude awakening that I will have to actually work hard at this. It isn’t going to come naturally. Once I start that process I will be more relaxed. Until then, I can’t even cope with having anything else to do. I have to make a vegan angel food cake this weekend for Bev’s birthday that I can’t even make it to. It’s on a school night. If I’m off I can go to an earlier class and make it work. I can’t even afford to think about it just yet.

I’m just trying to kill time right now. I have a 20 minute window where I can’t let anything touch areas of my skin where I applied DMSO. It’s transdermal which is a great tool but I have to be mindful about that. It will take everything into my bloodstream. I applied astringents first. Tomorrow I am going to start drinking it on an empty stomach. 1tsp in 5oz water. So basically I’m just laying in my bed naked, gross.

I started using DMSO on my face and I was blown away the other morning by how clear my face was. No redness anywhere. My acne scars, I had to lean into the mirror to see them. I know DMSO can dissolve scar tissues but it’s reduced appearance was probably because the pigment was gone.

Anyway, I knew I was going to have a headache today. I had to work around the cleaning products and the response is pretty appropriate. I think that I might actually pass out before I get any study done today. I have all day tomorrow so it’s not a big deal now.