Down in Current Events

My depression has come out to play again. This low is because of the highs that come with my anxiety. My anxiety is high because I am nervous about starting class on Tuesday. I will be fine, everything will be fine. I just need to get the first day over with. My social anxiety has trauma about school.

I was also carrying a worry for my nephew this week. His face is no longer swollen shut. He’s just down to dry skin. I am going to visit my sister and her family again today. The community center down the road has a bouncy castle and other things for kids to play in. Should be a good day.

I just want to shrink my surroundings and lay in bed. Try to meditate. Old scars are starting to open. I suppose with Mercury in retrograde the day after a full moon in Pisces, this can be expected. I have an opportunity to clean up some more karma. Assuming I don’t try to bury what bubbles up.

The world is also reacting to the death of the Queen. Once we got word of it at work my initial response was a tangent about how India should go take back its wealth. First nations people should take her grandchildren from their families, shave their heads, make them hold their tongues if they speak English, and de-civilize them. I didn’t know I felt passionately against her. I don’t care. I don’t want to care at least.

This western cult is coming down as it should. We are too far from grace and god (which is nature). There is truth, everything is subjected to it. This cult is built on lies and it cannot be sustained. Consciousness will have to set us free. Those cleaving to the old paradigm will go down with it. They’ve trauma bonded with a system that is narcissistic and abusive to them. Only consciousness can help them but they’re spiritually dead and not in touch with their souls. Just intellectuals who will never produce an original thought, who will forever be cognitively hijacked.

Whatever, in a hundred years we will all be dead and nobody is going to remember us. I want to be on the side that adds healing and light which can be carried on for generations. Give my life to it. Just want to serve God and the truth.

Blah, I should move on with my day.

I like this song, I keep hearing it on TikTok’s.