Stingy - 17.06.14 in Your Face

I had a nice hot bath today and shaved my terribly hairy legs and armpits. While I was at it, I decided to shave my lady parts, which I have just been keeping trimmed (waxing has been out of my budget). Of course now I have a shaving rash, which is making things very uncomfortable! Thank goodness for baby powder.

Today was a write off. My brother didn't go to work again, which was annoying, because he just follows me around the house instead, constantly asking me, "What are you doing?" like I'm going to turn around and say something really exciting. I'll be sitting on the lounge watching tv and he'll ask me that. Um, I'm watching tv, idiot, what does it look like I'm doing? Reminder: he's 36 years old, not 5.

I went back to bed after breakfast and snoozed until about 11:30am. What a luxury! I had a thought about how many mornings I had wished I could do that, but instead was off to work. I am really enjoying being jobless, even if it is crap worrying about money. The money will run out, though, and I will be getting a job in the US once I get there.

I am looking forward to a challenge, even though I will probably come home and cry at night for a while. Santa Fe is a weird place. If I get a job on the "wrong" side of town, I will hit walls every way I turn due to my accent. If I get a job on the "right" side of town I will still have the odd problem, but it won't be so bad. I know it sounds dramatic, but shit, it's ridiculous. On the "wrong" side, English is the second language of most of the people there and they just can't understand an accent that isn't American. The ones that speak English even have their own weird accent, it's bizarre. On the "right" side are the people who have moved to Santa Fe, the educated professionals. Again, I sound like a major asshole here, but it really needs to be seen to be believed.

But, I digress. The biggest challenge is going to be re-learning things. Feeling like an idiot while I try to do something that came so easily to me in Australia, but is done differently in the US. Fumbling and making mistakes, trying to prove myself. That sort of thing is really hard for a know-it-all like me, but I am grateful for my ability to quickly pick things up and to retain practical knowledge. I will work very hard at finding a job as soon as I am there, because I am stubborn. I have something that I want to prove. I also refuse to be reliant on M like I was the first time around.

No bites at my car, I've never sold a car before, so I don't know what to expect. I only posted the (free) ad yesterday. After some careful consideration, I also placed a paid ad ($60) on another, more popular site. I think it was a good investment, because I want to get rid of it sooner rather than later.

I had to email my father tonight - my brother purchased some tyres for his car that are located in Brisbane and he wants to know if our father will pick them up for him. As usual, he's too shit scared to talk to him, so I have to send the email. Oh hi, remember your son? The one that you haven't seen in years, the one that ignores your calls? Yeah, well he needs a favour. What an asshole.

So I wrote this awkward email to my father, making the usual small talk at the start, asking how he and Shirley are doing (even though Shirley is the psychopath that was sending me those horrible emails last month) and talking about selling my car. I don't want him to reply, but I know he will. I am just feeling so crappy over the whole thing with Shirley, even though I know she's got some mental issues going on, I am still pretty upset about the whole thing. I mean, I gave her everything. I have always defended her, been on her team, she could have my time, my trust, my love. I am the only one she has turned on. She has complaints about my sister and her fiance, and my eldest brother and his wife, but has never said one nasty thing to them, just to me. She even said to me that she has no issue with my second brother, despite him being such an asshole and shutting our father out! That just makes no sense at all. The worst part is how she accused me of making fun of her with my eldest brother, which is absolutely untrue. If I have done something wrong, and you call me out on it, that's fine. But when I haven't done a damn thing ... It hurts!

I am going off on a tangent again.