Registered in Current Events

I finally made my way down to the Adult Education Centre. I almost stopped myself twice but I managed to force myself to circle back. It’s a new building. The environment looks and feels great. Considering that my innermost nightmare is being back in class again. I start on the thirteenth. I suspect that I am already the teacher’s pet. She is my best friend’s neighbor. They’re also close. We’re going to get along great. This is good because I am going to need a tutor. She had been expecting me today and said that she was hoping to see me stop by and register. I got a good feeling about this.

I thought that I would have to start at a different level and I don’t. My six-year plan is now going to be a five-year plan. At least, it can be if I play my cards right. I keep catching myself trying to think too big and I mustn’t let myself get overwhelmed. Slow and steady I must be.

My anxiety was high today. I didn’t let it crush me. I made a huge mistake today and told Linda something in confidence. Four hours into my shift everybody knew what I said. It was harmless, I mentioned that Mike got into my head and half-convinced me that the management is trying to fire me. It was Mike that brought it up to me. He doesn’t take anything seriously. Nothing big came out of this, I’m just annoyed that I forgot about her big fucking mouth. To be fair, mine has been getting pretty big. I keep catching myself, not just at work, oversharing things that aren’t about me.

Mel, the latest hire on my team, quit his other job. He was an event organizer and he had been trying to get me to go to some of his events. Some are parties, some are hippie workshops. They knowingly let a previous sex offender come to one of their events and he sexually assaulted somebody at one of their events. They kept this from him because they knew he would take it seriously. It was her job to make sure she was safe. Was, verbatim, what they had to say. He is too principled to continue working with them and this, unfortunately, ended a lot of his friendships.

He also mentioned how it bothers him that Mike keeps making gay jokes about him and to him. When Mike starts telling me to look at some woman’s ass he refuses to engage so Mike assumes that Mel is gay. He doesn’t like that people assume that he is gay because he is too classy to behave like a pig. I felt that because I have a similar issue. I don’t talk about my same-sex attraction at work. I don’t wear identities, those are weird to me now. However, guys will tell me to check out some girl or whatever else and it makes me uncomfortable also.

Anyway, I have two weeks to mentally prepare myself for school. It’s only been eighteen years.