Anxiety, procrastination, obssession with all the wrong things in My life

Basically describes the person I am. The things I do.

I will never be his equal– and that… you know, that’s fine. He’s done wayyyyy better than maybe 99.9% of the people his age, I think. My guesstimate. Whatever. I still want to cradle this little thing that is my career, my life, my passion, my purpose. Well, the last two I don’t have, but I’m looking for them.

Funny how it almost feels like a relief. When he’s doing well, I just want to catch up with him. Now, he’s not only doing well but doing REALLY REALLY REALLY WELL, then oh well, I’ll never catch up anyway. I might as well just focus on me and what I want. And he’ll be able to support me and my family.

I don’t know why he loves me so hard. Why does it happen that he just looked at me on our first date and decided that this was it, his search was over. I don’t get it. He puts up with my tantrums like he’s wrapped around my little finger. As long as I’m happy, he’s happy. Like 99.99% of the time. He doesn’t care if it’s “fair” for the most part. Just that I’m happy. I’m not even that pretty but he treats me like I’m some sort of supermodel.

Well, everyone should be happy in my position, right?