Silent treatment. in Since OD is shutting down....

If it wasn't for the silent treatment between that girl and I, my night would have been perfect. I didn't have any problems at all, no rude customers. Everything was fine. My manager asked me to go pick up some of my co-workers and I said no and then another manager asked me later in the evening to take them home and I said no. I feel bad but I don't get paid any extra to do it and I don't feel like anyone really appreciates it plus I have made it to where I'm not as much of an asset anymore. I used to do everything they asked and now I don't. Saying no really isn't that hard anymore.

I'm really sick of this tension and silent treatment between that girl and I. Like it's fucking old. I know that unless I approach her, it will stay like this just like it did last time but she really upset me and I don't care if we are ever okay at this point. She's fucking trash in my book. Honestly, I don't think I was ever a fan, she was just someone to hang out with after work. She's really not the nicest person. She did nothing to get promoted too. She doesn't do shit work wise either. I just wish she wouldn't have been such a fucking bitch to me because I don't like this negative shit at work but unless she tries to change it, it can stay where it's at.

My manager, the one I used to like...well I feel bad about being so quiet and not as talkative with him lately. He used to be a really nice guy and now that he has a girlfriend he's not very nice anymore but tonight, I felt really bad when it put him in a good mood to see that everyone else was in a good mood. I feel like sometimes when I get in a bad mood I don't care who it affects. It bothers me to know that when I'm not very talkative with him, it actually bothers him. Most of the time I just feel so unimportant and that it doesn't matter whether I talk or not but I realized tonight that people do care and I don't want to bring other people down because there's tension between that girl and I or I'm upset about other things. I can be really insensitive sometimes. I'm going to try really hard to be in a better mood no matter what's going on because it's not fair to EVERYONE if I'm in a bad mood and bring other people down because of it but if I'm upset, I'd rather just not talk to avoid saying shit I don't mean.

I'm just sick of this girl and her bullshit. I'm so tired of people doing their part (or more) to make a situation ugly and then sit back and play the victim. We now don't speak to each other unless we have to and I'm okay with that. I wish it didn't have to be this way but I'm not happy with her and don't care to even attempt to talk shit out. For her to not respect the fact that I didn't feel good and was STILL trying to fight with me is beyond bullshit! She couldn't have just left it alone and then tried to bring it up another day when I felt like myself. I just feel bad that other people seem to be getting brought down because of our tension.

Tomorrow I have shit ton of stuff to do before going to work. I gotta turn in something to see about getting medicaid, go get my paycheck, have lunch there, work out, hopefully get a shower and then go to work. I also have to reschedule my dr appointment because it's the same time as my interview. I really don't want to have to reschedule because I'm scared I'll have to wait forever to get seen but I don't want to miss my interview.

Time to brush my teeth and hit the hay.