Reconnect in Current Events

I kept myself pretty busy last week. I reconnected with Kyle. I was happy to see that he is living alone and single. He’s always been one of those people who can’t be single for more than five minutes. He just got out of a seven-year relationship with Evan. Whom I miss. They are on good terms. We went for breakfast and then for a long walk. We mostly talked about ideas. I was a little traumatized when I bit into a piece of sausage that ended up in my vegan breakfast order. I don’t have the palette for that anymore, apparently. It’s been seven years, almost. I just felt the gas from it spray inside my mouth and it tasted like something that has been dead for weeks seasoned with fennel and pepper. I didn’t make a stink, I know the risks when I go out to eat. I was just embarrassed because of my reaction. I spat it out violently and started to dry heave. It was a shock to my system and it tasted too awful. I remember when I used to love it.

There were a few moments in which I was wondering if he has romantic interests in me. He paid for my meal, which was kind of him. That doesn’t mean a whole lot but there were just a few lines of questions that felt like he was trying to see us together, in his mind. I don’t have romantic feelings for him. I know I bring up astrology a lot but his sun sign is Cancer and mine is Capricorn. That is supposed to be the perfect fit. He has a Venus Gemini and I have a Venus Capricorn. He will need someone mentally stimulating and I have already filled that order. My Capricorn Venus wants someone that can help build the lifestyle I have or build the life I want by my side. This is probably why I don’t have romantic feelings for him. We have different lifestyles. Of course, this is where having opposite sun signs could be beneficial. We could balance each other out. I have a Taurus rising so looks are crucial to me. He has a Taurus moon so I know they are to him as well. However, I can see that he doesn’t take enough care of himself. He even implied that he needs someone to help him get that drive to do so. I am a Capricorn, by proxy I need somebody to show up already correct. Slobs can be for somebody else. Just not for me.

I reached out to Jess. I learned that her mother broke her hip and is in the hospital. I feel sad about that. Jess and I go way back to high school. Her mother was very good to me. She lent me her sports car for my road test. I feel some reservations about getting involved in this situation of hers in any capacity. I will push through that. She is also helping her mother move and I offered to help. We shall see what comes of that. I think my hesitation comes from me putting up a lot of boundaries when it comes to me being there for people. My disease to please got me into a lot of trouble over the years.

I ran into Mel. My god, I didn’t think I would ever speak to her again. I saw her at our favorite store and said hello without hesitation. She was entering the checkout looking like a puritan of the times. Her face was masked to protect against virus possession. She filled me in on all of the things I missed after I was terminated. I was stuck at a dead-end job for thirteen years, and that is where we met. That job was going to have to quit me which it did. All I had to do was report the child grooming that our operations manager was up to. Almost thirty of us lost our job because I stirred that pot. That predator has since been terminated also. Finally. However, I doubt it was due to the allegations. It looks like they restructured the management teams across both provinces to get people that will do the same job for a lot cheaper. All of the locations that I have seen look like a south-Asian invasion happened. It is what it is, I don’t care.

I have a tiny bit of anxiety this evening. I took a nap when I got home. I knew Toni called in sick today. This morning I noticed she had a bottle of wine that she started after I had gone to bed. There was just under half of it left. When I got home she had a brand new bottle almost finished. When I woke up from my nap, both bottles were in the recycling. It’s Monday, why is anybody day drinking? She’s at home sick, why is she drinking period? It’s not that I want to judge but I have been working up the nerve to talk to her about her drinking. I might have to reach out to some support group or something. This conversation won’t go well. She is a functional alcoholic. This is definitely something that is affecting me. At the end of the day, she is my friend and I love her and it is hard to witness this.

I do not work on Wednesday. I want to buy a bunch of notebooks and start writing down what I am learning from the book that I am trying to get through. It’s a lot of high concepts and I seem to need three weeks between chapters to digest it. Writing it down and drawing diagrams will help. Also, I want to start writing down content ideas. I want to get my views out there on the wild wild web. Just as a hobby. I feel compelled to. I only want to serve God and the truth, in the end. To serve God I only need to serve others. It’s just going to be one big reality check from me. Assuming anyone even gets interested. I just think about the literary Jesus and how fearless he was when he did it.

Anyway, I botched my day for tomorrow already with my nap. Oh well. I need to come on here more often, I feel so much lighter after. Things feel more clear. This Wednesday I will go out and register for adult ed and then buy those notebooks. That’s what I am telling myself anyway.