*sigh* in Second 1st

It was adorable. Jake called yesterday just to tell me that the nurse called me his wife. “Your wife took good care of you in the ER” it tickles me .... so cute....

When I talk to him I forget the things I need to say. I want this to stay a fantasy an endless fountain of attention and longing.

Jake’s talking about getting the money together for a trip down. He’d come in on a Thursday and I’d go see him during the day all weekend, while Rocky was at work. I told him that has to wait. I certainly can’t do that while I have Rocky’s car. .... and still as much as I’d like to contribute to the bill.... whose footing it? .... Then of course to keep it on the low I’ll have to earn in advance to make up for the weekend I won’t work.... and still.... We have nothing in savings and barely making bills.... sigh

My skin lights up at his touch. His lips against mine send an undeniable electric current through my body. His voice is like honey and I am addicted to sugar. How the hell do I expect to explain anything....

I can’t take care of him monitarily. I am a broke bitch. I want to fix things for him. Make them easier but I am struggling here. I can’t leave Rocky drowning .... friends first.... always… I mean to say I wouldn’t leave my friends high and dry and Rocky is a friend even if he’s not the desire of my heart.

Jake gets out today! He’s caught up on sleep and they have settled on a med to help him get proper z’s so that’s good. He’s created himself a mountain to climb as soon as he gets out and here I am in TN unable to help him find the equipment he needs to deal with it :(.