You and your apostrophes in about

I can no longer take it. I am not sure when or how the apostrophe became almost the equivalent of a nervous tick while typing, but here is a rant for you. Note the following apostrophe catastrophes in these sentences, and learn and refrain from making these errors. This is for you, you, and yes… you, too. They make you look like a dumb-dumb, and your looking stupid gets me worked up, because I know that you are more intelligent than you make yourself look.

These four sentences are all apostrophe catastrophes:

• We took a look at their menu's and decided to go elsewhere for dinner. [menus]

• I used to meet him on Wednesday's and we would have a great time. [Wednesdays]

• It was back in the 70's, we spent the summer's at the lake. ['70s, summers]

• We are going dinner with the Robinson's. [Robinsons]

Simple rule #1: Never ever, ever use an apostrophe for pluralizing a word.

This is what is actually being written (what a catastrophe!):

• We took a look at their menu is and decided to go elsewhere for dinner.

• I used to meet him on Wednesday is and we had a great time.

• It was back in the 70 is, we spent the summer is at the lake.

Get it? Plural of "CD" is CDs, "DVD" is DVDs. Not CD is, DVD is. And when it comes to decades, '70s is a contraction of the 1970s. How do you make the word cat plural? Answer: By adding the letter "s." It is the same rule, folks. That said, both of these sentences are correct:

• The song, Every Breath You Take was 1983's top song.

• The Police were one of the most successful groups in the '80s.

Apostrophes and Possession
Most people get that if the brown dog belongs to George, that it is George's dog. The apostrophe indicates possession--George owns the dog. Things fall off the rails quite often when the dog for instance wags its tail (note, no apostrophe is, or should be used for the word, "its").

Simple rule #2 The only time an apostrophe is used with the word, "it," is when it becomes a contraction of the two words, it and is. So when you are writing something like this:

• I was going to drive the car but it's gas gauge is busted, so I don't trust it.

What you are actually saying is this: I was going to drive the car but it is gas gauge is busted, so I don't trust it.

Don't be stupid. Apostrophe misuse is sometimes referred to as "butcher's punctuation" an apt play on words. You're butchering the English language, much like Bob down at the meat counter, whose hand-written signs are declaring sales on such things as:

• lamb burger's

• chicken breast's

Lamb burger is? Or chicken breast's what? What is it that the chicken burger possesses or owns?

Butcher's punctuation. (The butcher owns the bad punctuation in this example).

Don't be a butcher--not like this.