Reality. in Since OD is shutting down....

Anyways, in the midst of my desperation my brother’s friend showed up at looked at the cars. He’s going to fix them and it sounds like by next week I’ll be back on the road. I got one car part and I ordered the other one today.

I am starting to understand more and more about people living in their own reality and by whatever narrative that’s going to get them through the day. I’ve had it said to me that because I mention my daughter’s DB Dad not being in her life that apparently that means I still want him. This makes me pretty irate as I’m allowed to care that my daughter brings him up and that it bothers her that he’s not around.

Am I wrong for being upset that he’s not apart of her life? Am I wrong for caring about my child’s feelings? I accept that I’m always going to have feelings for him whether they are good or bad but I am so tired of other people trying to decide how I should feel! They aren’t the ones to answer her questions and see her visibly upset by his choices!

So we had her Kindergarten screening this morning where I guess she said something to one of the teachers about her Dad and how she doesn’t have one. Then I guess she spoke about how she was going to see him after we left there. I just told the teacher that he’s not involved. She mentioned him when we got in the car to leave and I just said, “honey, he’s not a part of our lives but we wish him luck with his” and that seemed to suffice and then we went about the day.

We left there and had to come home because my phone was dying like it already is. My Mom stopped by and then they went to the grocery store. We had to stop at the pharmacy so I could get my medications and then we got lunch at Taco Bell. It was a great lunch because neither of us ate much for breakfast. Then I got a thing in the mail saying I had to stop at the post office and get my car part. I’m pretty annoyed that I live in a place where it’s hell getting packages so we had to load back up in the car and got get it.

Both of us took naps and it was glorious. Neither of us are morning people and generally sleep in so today was a bit harder because we were up early. I plan to start prepping for school by getting her to bed at a decent hour at least a week before school starts. I guess they go by their last names the first week so she’ll only go 2 days but then after it will be the normal weeks. I plan to start applying to places and setting up interviews.

My brother messaged me a couple of nights ago stating he didn’t agree with me saying his daughter deliberately sprayed my kid in the eyes with bug repellent how she would never intentionally leave my kid blind. Well she did I was right there and watched her do it. I was pretty upset about my brother saying, ‘she’s fine’ and had no intent to rinse it out of her eyes. This isn’t the first time she’s hurt my brother physically on top of the things she’s said about how my daughter “needs a Dad’ and a string of other mean things that in my opinion is toxic and abusive because she hears her parents saying these things.

We don’t have anything planned tomorrow but I need to schedule her check up and call to see when her next eye exam is. We are going to get school supplies on the 16th and I gotta start buying school clothes.

Daughter wants me to watch a move with her so more tomorrow.