next bits in Second 1st

Today, I’m nauseous and dizzy. The world threatens a storm and I feel it. It’s normal but it makes me feel unsafe driving and therefore today I will focus on things I’ve intended to do around the house.... at least till the storm threat/storm clears....

Catching up on YouTube videos of stuff I’m subscribed to… Icon For Hire has 2 new songs and are on tour now. They have a new album out in September. I need to get that pre-ordered for sure. They actually have a show in Nashville the 27th. Would only be $66 for 2 tickets.... there are only 16 left!.... I’ll talk to ROcky about it when he gets up.... logically we won’t but… but it’s a nice thought....

I’ve got phone calls set up for him to make when he wakes.... #1 he needs to investigate the Behavioral Health Physician or whatever so we can figure consoling out.... then we need to get some quotes on a brick mailbox as ours decided now was the time to snap off the pole out there. No time for improvements like when you have to do work anyway. I’ll get on the Post office site today to hold our mail.... even though it happened Thursday lol

I’m not doing MTurk today.... I’m going to dehydrate some cucumbers (in oven now) and Chickpeas for snacks (I’m going to figure out how in Crock after entry).... laundry, dishes… phone calls.... need to call the GYN about my yearly appointment and get that put in our schedule.... August looks pretty busy.... I need to make sure it’s accessible for Rocky to make appointments for Plasma donations.....

Once he gets up and makes the calls.... maybe groceries… and if may head clears up maybe I’ll get to do some work this afternoon.... this week is going to be a bit light :( with all the appointments.

Tomorrow is activation day! Rocky had mentioned going to Jamaciaway for lunch at the Farmers Market. The bread is the only thing I like there but there are other options for lunch .... The appointment isn’t till 1:45.... and 2:45. 1:45 for post-op and all goes well 2:45 for activation. Of course We will make plans for McKay’s too.

I’ve been talking to Jake as I hope you all understand. It’s like breathing. I suffer Monday-Thursday.... getting in a text here and there careful not to talk about anything I can’t share.... then the weekend comes and it’s like that wonderful cool crisp morning air I love so much in the fall.

He’s so encouraging, so smart… I learn so much… I don’t know what I would do now… if I have to be without him.

Last night I wasn’t ready for bed. I didn’t want to stop messaging him about whatever random thoughts I was having. He said “how do you think I feel? being in love with someone 519 miles away.” I’d sent a reminder that loving someone and being in love are not the same also that my heart aches for him that he would be in love with me. Again, he made it sound like this is temporary, that we will have our real chance. It warms my heart. His calm calms me.

This week on Door Dash I made 566.26 this week on 88 deliveries… records so far.... and it’s looking like I’ll be able to do this… glad I’ve been forced a couple of days off though.... I’ve been doing nothing but dash and beads for a few weeks now. The minimum to make it work for me is $450 a week so I’m in a debate with myself what to do with the extra.... like take it off first as my own personal bonus.... this money would go to whatever I would like.... personally .... unfortunately that sill isn’t a personal thing as my car needs repair.... OR just leave the extra in the house account taking the repair out of it.... eventually the extra will go in my personal savings for things like the somewhat in-the works non-working weekend.... plane ticket and hotel for Jake for a Friday and Saturday.... flight back Sunday evening… I’ll have to build up some extra to call my paycheck too.... and all of that is only if Rocky and I aren’t as far along as I’d like..... I want to tell him about all the cute little things Jake says/does.... I want him to understand this need and how we lack it.... definitely something that will come out in therapy. Telling him without a moderator would be.... unkind....

sigh I guess that’s it for now.... listening to Icon For Hire and getting things done....