Grave in Writing To Escape [Open Diary Entries]

Hey all,

My family and me will be going to visit my mum's grave site for the first time since we buried her in July today, her birthday is tomorrow and with people at work etc we've decided to go and see her today.

I expected today would be a difficult day although I wasn't expecting to be such a wreck since getting up. I took a sip of my morning cup of tea and bang flood works, in my mind I've blocked it for months that she's gone, that she's never coming back. In some ways. I've been able to trick myself into believing she's on some extended holiday or something as daft as that sounds I know. It's a coping mechanism to say the least.

Waking up today though I know that delusion is going to be shattered when I see the grave site. I don't know what that is going to do seeing as I've dealt with nothing when it comes to this really. I've just plodded along and done what I can, in some ways I've done well, in others I've failed drastically. Dealing with this is certainly a failing grade at this moment in time but I'm not ready and I don't want to.

I have to go get showered. I'll post on the day's events more than likely tomorrow when it is her birthday if I'm up to it.

Thank you for all the notes on my last entry. I haven't replied to any of them but really thank you.

Kind regards, G

Last updated June 12, 2014