HOW TO SAY ALL THOSE GOODBYES in THE REALITY SOAP: AFTER DAD'S FUNERAL

Have you ever dealt with quite plenty of goodbyes in such a short time? Like, for example, you had no choice but to have started this year by saying goodbyes - different, separate ones - to different people. How did you do that? Did you cope with it well - or did you get so emotional that you needed some decent time and space to learn to fully accept it?

Separation is part of life. It's an epilogue of a story, although one can always hope for a sequel.

Anyway, we all deal with goodbyes. Sometimes it's only temporary, like "See you later!" or "See you when I see you." Sometimes it's permanent, like "I don't know if we'll ever see each other again" or "I guess this is it." Or, probably something like "He's already gone home to God. Set his soul free."

Some say today's technology is a great help. Distance is no longer a serious issue, as long as you can stay in touch with each other. No need to feel sad, as long as there's always news from your loved ones from other parts of this world. (That too, if they're willing to share you as much.)

However, to some others it's still not the same. You can only hear their voices on the phone or/and see their faces on the screen. Nothing beats having their real, solid presence in your life - right here, right now. (Well, even if you do fight and feel that you also need some space from each other sometimes.) You get to hold their hands or just hug them close, for real. No annoying delays, no static. No lousy connection.

Unfortunately, reality doesn't always go our way. Somehow, you do have to part with some people in your life. Like, you couldn't force a dying person to stay with you, because you couldn't bear to see them in pain. Sometimes love means letting go and saying goodbye. It's time to start accepting the fact that all you'll ever have left of them now are just memories - their existence in your past.

Sometimes love is a distraction, if not a disaster. Sometimes love means letting go, because it's just not meant for you. That love belongs to someone else. At first, it's not easy. You think you're dying inside. But then, when you see just how happy they are with the one they truly love, you slowly become alive again. You realise that they look most beautiful when they smile like that - even when that smile exists not because of you. It's their true love.

In the name of friendship and honour, sometimes you have to ignore the cracks in your heart as you silently step back. Doing the right thing isn't always easy - or making you feel good. However, you realize that life isn't always all about you - and staying noble does pay off well, one way or another. Forget those who think you're a hypocrite. Someday, you'll feel much better and happier too. There's always another day for as long as you shall live.

There are goodbyes that don't mean as much. It's not always about you not getting along well with them. It's just how it is sometimes. That's life.

There are goodbyes who mean so much to you, that you don't know how to recover quickly from them. It's going to take a while; it often does. Eventually you will. It's just a matter of 'when'. All you need is more faith in yourself - and that God will help you find a way. He always does, even when you second-guess His Policies and even doubts His True Existence.

Picture this: you (feel that you) have met the love of your life. For the first time in your life, you feel that everything is going right. You're happy and you're happily in love. The whole world doesn't always have to know or matter, for they might judge you by your choices. (They do, even in silence. They judge you through their accusing eyes, even when you're around or the minute your back is turned.)

It's true; they don't (always want to - or at least try to) understand. In fact, a lot of them just feel sorry for you. Why?

Behind all that tough exterior - your cheerfulness and smile - you're silently counting down the days. The one you love is leaving soon. You poor thing. You can't even hide the heartache in your eyes anymore. They silently scream out those questions, questions you're actually afraid to ask and find the answers to:

'Will we still love each other? Will we stay in love and remain together?' Your doubts and fears are palpable. Of course, you're aware of the odds. The one you love may have promised you all this and all that, but reality often have a lot of other tricks up its sleeves. Time and space can change people - and they often do.

The real question is: are you ready for that - any of that?

"You know what to do. If it's meant to be, then so be it. If not, it's not the end of the world."

Someone once told you that. You just nodded, all with those silent tears in your eyes. Did the one you love know that? Have they ever really seen you cry?

They should, for they soon will be leaving you all alone with your broken heart. Hopefully they mean what they say and say what they mean about their love for you. Otherwise, you do what you have to do. Stay strong and survive, for you're the only one who can - and should - love yourself best.

In the end, all we can do is stay strong and say all those goodbyes. That's just life. Sometimes we cry and it's alright. It's normal and it's human. We do that because they mean so much to us, one way or another.

Perhaps some of them will come back. You might cross paths with each other again. Hopefully, it'll be a great sequel worth waiting for.

In the meantime, as cliche as this sounds, life goes on...

R.