Another day... I loathe my life in My life

In very typical me fashion. I became awake at 5:30 and still in bed now at 6.

I want to do arm exercise from my computer now.

Alright, so I did all my grading yesterday. And I just caught up with my math. He’s out dining with millionaire business men (his big tech company’s treat). Good for him, what a talented guy. I feel a lot better about him being way more successful than me NOW THAT HE HAS PROMISED TO NOT COMPLIMENT ME ANYMORE MWAHAHAHA. I mean it’s an odd request but it’s MY request and once I got that through to him, I think we have fixed our communication issue.

I spent 8 years of my life doing philosophy, then 3 years in law. I’m hoping to be employed as a lawyer when I graduate. I’m pretty sure I would get hired somewhere provided I’m patient enough. B+ average at a top 20 law school, crappy interview skill. It’s okay. He makes enough money for the family that we’ll have. I want to provide for my sister and I want to go back to school. AGAIN!!!! Yeah. I don’t know, maybe I won’t make it but I just can’t stand not acting on it. Not acting on my impulses. I’ve been jealous of science people for forever but I’ve always been afraid. My parents discouraged me from pursuing science. It’s been 10 years. What the heck? What’s the harm? None. It does make me feel better opening up that Trig book. My highest goal would be the Coursera MS in Electrical Engineering. No admission criteria. $20k for the whole degree. I just need to get a certificate and I picked the Quantum Mechanics for Engineers. I need to do all the Math before I do that certificate. It’s a long road. Cal, differential equations, and linear algebra. I hope the program is still around when I get there. Coursera used to be free!

What do I do with an MSEE? I want to at least understand my soon-to-be husband’s work more. Maybe I’ll be a patent lawyer? Maybe I’ll be a low-level engineer? I don’t know. I’m dreaming ahead too much.

Whatever. I just need to do it. I’ve been subconsciously wanting it for so long. I’m happier because I’m taking baby steps on this thousand-mile journey. That’s all I need. Being happy. I care a little less whether I get there or not. I’ve just been so miserable with my law thing that I need this.

I’m 29, darn it. I feel like my life is half over.

Whatever, just get today’s work done first. I need to finish this email to someone at church about my marriage.

I laughed out loud. This entry is fantastic. https://www.prosebox.net/entry/1450996/

Who needs movies and TV shows when I have Prosebox? Real and raw human emotions.

Ok, next, I need to email back my Evidence professor for a meeting date. She is so kind. I am so dumb. Nah, first I need to grab my hard drive and phone charger. So annoying.

Keep going with this email, please.