New Name (Was "Inside Her") in Friends With the Benedicts

OK so this is my new permanent name. This was the name I had started using in Easy Diary. I really liked it so I wanted to just continue using it here. So many things have changed in my life, and it's only fitting that my name be one of them. I am totally not the same person I was even a year ago. Like, really. LOL. I have brain damage and my personality was changed so that when I say I am a different person, it's not just a euphemism. The hardest part is that I have to take medicine so that my emotions will be under control somewhat now. If I didn't take it, I would cry all day long. The way I know I have forgotten it is when I find myself on the verge of tears over a commercial, for example. Just stuuuupid shit! It makes me sooo angry. Especially since I never used to cry, and certainly not in front of anyone. That's all out the window now. I'm just a big huge crybaby, except I still feel self concious about it. The only thing that's changed is I can no longer control it. I wonder if the brain surgery had anything to do with it. I mean, it's not meant for anyone to go poking around in there! lol. I can't believe it's been so long since it happened. It still seems like only yesterday I had my whole head shaved. My hair is getting so much longer. I have to actually wrap it up in a towel after a shower now! I do miss the quickness and ease of washing it when it was only an inch long and shorter tho. It would be nice right now when it is like 54296713 billion degrees in Florida and not much cooler in our trailer! We have a huge beast of an AC unit in the other apartment (our trailer used to be divided into two apartments but that's illegal and now we have the whole thing opened up but it still has two kitchens, two living rooms, etc.) and it needs to be moved from the other living room into the main one that we actually use. Because damn. It's hot. I always sit around in nothing but panties all day anyway because of my intolerance to heat anyway with my MS, but even then I find I am wanting to rip off my skin too! And it is only June! I don't wanna even think about what it's gonna be like in August or September, the two hottest months here. Ooh.. I know I didn't write about this... but our beautifully crafted glass dildo finally broke! We were so sad! That thing was made of Pyrex glass, we never thought it would break, but it did - right in two. :( So when we got paid this month, I ordered a couple new toys! One is just your run of the mill dildo... but for some reason it has balls. Yea. Laura says she is just gonna call that a hand grip. It is not penis shaped or anything in any other way, just has balls. LOL It's weird! But that's the one I liked the best and had the best specs and whatnot, so we got it. Then I also got another little small vibrator. The one we have now that I use the most was bought from Walmart and it's a Trojan brand one that was supposed to only last for 50 mins. and takes watch batteries. Well, when it died I replaced the batteries with ones from a laser pointer we had for the cats LOL but it's just not conducive to battery usage and replacement. So I ordered one that runs on 2 double A batts. :) Much better! It got really good reviews too... so I am excited to get it and try it out. They also had a 50 Shades of Grey brand vibe and I thought that was cute but you're really just paying for a name. lol. I like the website we use. It has pretty good customer service, shipping is fast if a little overpriced but the prices of the items are waaaay low. It's the same website we got our strap on from. And we have had no complaints on it so far! But after 14 years of being together I find that our sex life has gradually calmed down and settled into "quality over quantity". We don't have it too terribly often, but when we do... whoa mama! We get into these little spurts tho where it's like, one week we will just go at it a lot and then we might not have sex again for a month. But it is a mutual thing, so it's all good! I definitely want it more than she does... but even my sex drive these days is like eh... I'll live. lol. Well, I am gonna go watch some teevee. I will let everyone know my new name just in case yall don't see this entry. Byeee! Hope everyone is doin good! :) <3

Steph