it's like i'm still afraid in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

So I think I was at my last house. where I was living for 3 months. I just didn't fully realize it at the time. I was afraid to displease the lady. And looking back it's like yeah. yeah I was.

So recently at my new house I'll be talking to Jen or Stephanie about like. dinner, or something and I'll be like "well I want rice......." and then add something like "unless. someone else has a preference". I'm so afraid to displease them and it's not them personally I'm afraid to displease. No they're all really nice to me and quite lovely. No it's the lady I was living w/ even though.

I'm not currently living there any longer. And while a part of me knows I'm not in any immediate danger another part of me feels like I am.

[before anyone asks yes I have PTSD. I was diagnosed in college].