Business in Current Events

I had to talk some sense into Toni, my roommate. She is not a very evolved person, to be frank. She has the emotional development of a child. This is why she has toxic codependence. She was about to refuse her job offer. She hates her current place of employment. It’s eating her soul. She just got hired somewhere that is paying her more, putting her on a salary and giving her three weeks of vacation. She will be working with a group of five and will have support. She does not have support at her current job, which makes her miserable.

This is after her getting full of herself and going on tangents about people being lifers at my workplace. This is after she gave me unsolicited career advice to quit my current job if they don’t give me the full-time position I applied for. If I ran away from everything that hurt my feelings I would be… an emotionally incontinent adult toddler like her. I sound mean and bitter but that is because this is the way she talks about anything going on in my life. She is out-picturing her own insecurities and projecting them onto me. It’s the easiest way to deflect self-awareness and sypher self-esteem. Toni = child.

She won’t admit to herself that she is afraid. This is a person that has irrevocably fried their brain with weed and got stuck with the mentality of a teenager. She does not like self-awareness. She does not do self-awareness. She does not do self-anything. She cannot generate her own self-esteem, she cannot generate her own self-worth, she cannot generate her own self-confidence she has to tear others down to feel adequate. She is not in touch with her own self-discernment, she cannot generate an original thought to save her life. She cannot control her own emotions and thoughts which affects her actions greatly but refuses to see the connection. I am harsh about this but that is because I am projecting my own insecurities about this because this was all me just a few years ago.

She is afraid of pain. There are three types of pain that she is afraid of which she is clearly experiencing:

Loss Pain
She is losing her easy commute to work. She is within walking distance which is why we chose to live in this area, to begin with. She is losing her comfort zone. She is losing her relationships with people.

Process Pain
She is dreading the new commute. She has to make new relationships. She has to start from the bottom at her new job. She has to learn a new role, she has to learn to become comfortable.

What If
What if it doesn’t work out? What if the place becomes toxic like all of the rest? What if she doesn’t like it?

The owner of the store that she is quitting called her yesterday. He is going to meet with her today. He is going to try and make her an offer that she can’t refuse which is an act of desperation. She was prepared to accept it. I told her that it would just be the same shit that was eating away at her soul but with a better wage. It would be stupid to stay. They should have fought for her from the start. They should have offered her a wage increase when she asked for it. Her character is weak but I think I talked some sense into her.

Once you put something in the front of your consciousness it is all you will see. She does not see opportunity because she is only looking at the cons. She cannot see growth because she can only see what she would be losing. Outlook is important and I am glad that she came and talked to me because she would have been making a huge mistake. I want to see her happy and in a better place. Even though I am harsh about her. I do love her, she is my friend. It was hard to sell her on this because then she would have to accept some self-awareness but I presented it in a way where she wouldn’t have to.

The new job is starting her off with a bigger wage. It only gets better from there. There are advancement opportunities and there is support. She will work with a team. She will get to make new relationships. If she doesn’t like it then she can always go back to the shit job she is quitting. Their offer will still be on the table. If she really likes the new job we could move closer to it. Moving would be a great idea for me also, she is working near my place of employment. Also, what happened to all that judgement against lifers? Does she really want to be a lifer where she is? No. I also reminded her that this is a great opportunity to build a resume also. She is going to learn new skills. This can open doors for her.

Watching her spiral is hard to witness. She needs to develop her character but she doesn’t believe in self-help or anything. Just self-medication. Whatever.

I do like the idea of moving though. I do adore this apartment though. I like the in-suite laundry and two-bathroom situation. Maybe we won’t have to move.

I did not hear back about the position I applied for yet. I am so glad that I have more control over my actions and emotions because I shudder at the thought of everything I wanted to say and do on Friday at work. Just petty bullshit that I want to be bigger than. Mission accomplished. At the end of the day, I didn’t want a full-time position. I got comfortable with the checks and I didn’t know I wanted the full-time position until it opened up. I can’t stand the thought of losing it to Linda. The position is not based on tenor but on merit. She has been there for seven years and I am a far better worker than she is, by a lot. Our team had a lot of challenges last week. We were all working hard to service our list and she was just servicing games on the computer. Makes me so angry.

In the interview, I asked if there was any experience that they wish I had to better suit that role. I don’t have the experience of how they normally operate things because of con-19. I asked her if she was confident in my ability to adapt and meet that challenge based on how I have excelled at everything that has come our way so far. I saw it in her face that I caught her off guard with that one. She had to admit that it wouldn’t be an issue. Things are going to return to the way they used to be but I explained to her how that is not going backward for me. It is just more incoming changes and challenges that I will rise to meet just as I always have.

The reason I compare myself to Linda is that her big mouth is telling people that the position was promised to her. She said that to members of our team before I even received my interview. I got HR involved in that one. I am supposed to have an equal opportunity which is why this upset people on my team who brought it to my attention. They knew I would take action. My boss has a history of favouritism. She respects me but I can tell that she does not like me. I suspect that it is just because of my Facebook. She made a reference to it once. She is very Liberal and very committed to her cable news cult. I’m not here for that and I make it clear on my page that I am a heretic to all of the modern cults.

$cience Heretic | Media Heretic | Medical Heretic | Globe Heretic | Political Heretic | Religious Heretic

I only want to serve God and the truth.

Whatever, I have breakfast plans today. I wish that I didn’t because my social battery needs to be charged. I helped Bev with her garage sale yesterday also. I have been going non-stop for weeks and weeks now. I need a day to stay in bed. Bev also offered some of her life-coaching services to me. I might take her up on that.

Anyway, on with my day now I suppose.

Oh! I saw a TikTok that had some great insight for me. A new perspective. I look in the mirror at my body and feel defeated every single time. I cannot gain mass. If I did the right things I could, I do know that. My body isn’t a natural at gaining weight. Anyway, I saw a rugby player explain something I never thought about. If you swim like an Olympic swimmer you may find that you don’t end up with their athletic bodies. They are swimmers because they already have those bodies. Basketball players are not tall because they play basketball. They play basketball because they are tall. Football players are selected for their size also. The rugby player is not massive because of rugby, he is on a professional rugby team because he is already massive. Some people are naturally lean, they can build muscle with ease because of their genetic status. They are fitness trainers because they already look fit. I could flop around on the floor and give weight loss advice but I am already very lean. It wasn’t a very profound statement but it made me feel a little bit better.