Drama part 2 in Current Events

I approached the store manager first thing this morning about what was going on within my team. Linda, the coworker I drive to work, is claiming that the full-time position we both applied for was promised to her. My supervisor appears to be grooming her for it and dismissing me completely. I hadn’t even had an interview at that point. Linda has. They arranged that I would still drive her to work and that she would just cab to work on the days that I am off. My shifts will be dropping to part-time at the end of the summer. That’s the back story anyway.

I won’t know what happened after that but the store manager understood where I was coming from. There was an investigation into it but I won’t know how that went. I had to sign an NDA and a no-retaliation form after it was investigated. It was members of my team that came to me about it because they didn’t feel that it was right to witness an opportunity be taken away from me like that. I am the one they are all rooting for, to be honest. Linda is not a good worker at all.

I know that they are good at keeping confidences during the investigation. She told me that she was sick to her stomach because she was pulled into the manager’s office with our HR for half an hour. She didn’t say what it was for but I know that she would have had to sign the same agreements that I did. My boss included who was forced to give me an interview for that position. She was going to at some point though.

I know I did good in the interview. When it was my turn to ask questions I had asked her what experience she was looking for that she didn’t feel that I had to fulfill this role. I caught her off guard. I was hired during con-19 and I don’t have the experience of what our job performance was prior to that which they intend to return to. She explained. Then I asked her if she felt that I wasn’t adaptable enough to meet that challenge. I saw it in her face that I trapped her. Well, not trapped but she flinched. She then expressed that she does feel that I am adaptable enough to meet that challenge. I then sold myself on how adaptable I was during the unconventional training process, to begin with, and how I have been fostering and leading the team with every change that was made to our role since.

We didn’t discuss the investigation into the allegations I brought to the store manager. She also would have signed the same documents. It is what it is. I just wanted to make sure that I had the equal opportunity to get this position. Linda’s big mouth was saying otherwise. It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination for everyone else on my team because they witnessed favouritism in the past.

I will be pretty gagged if I don’t get it. When I was asked what she was looking for in this position, availability was the number one priority and she knows that I am wide open. I have been dependable and reliable in always picking up shifts. When the extra weekend shifts are offered to us on the busiest weekends of the year I always pick one up to show support for the store.

Whatever. I just don’t want to feel like I am being used by Linda and taken advantage of. I could easily stop driving her to work. I’m not obligated to. I don’t like the idea of her running her mouth and then expecting me to still do her any solids.

I come home and that is how I feel with my roommate. She doesn’t contribute here, she just uses all of my stuff and leaves me to clean up after her and supply her with everything. I have to do all of the grocery shopping which to a co-dependant child doesn’t seem like a big chore to do alone but it is a bitch and I’m over it. Okay, it’s not fair to say that she doesn’t contribute anything. She has taken over the bulk of the cooking recently. I have been having problems with sleep and my energy when I get home from work. She does take care of the living room sometimes. Whatever, I could just communicate better.

Anyway, I managed to get my nap out of the way. I woke up still feeling salty. I was planning to get a new phone if I got that full-time position. My headphones stopped working. I also was going to join a gym… I think? I am hesitant about developing body dysmorphia. Big things have small beginnings and I can tell that I already have the starter pack. I can’t stop sizing myself up in the mirror. I was just in there looking at my shoulders and hating the world because they aren’t big enough. Then some self-hatred seeped in. My body loves me to death and I need to make that mutual. Looking very fit just feels like some unfinished business that I have in this after 30 life. Whatever. I have other things that I should focus on.