I keep losing... in These titles mean nothing.

… things.

I wonder if I gain anything at all.

It’s that point in life, I suppose.
That time when you see what’s gone, not what’s here.

Days pile up. Some in front, more behind.
The one that counts, the one that is today, is hard to focus on.

I mean for sure, there are good days and bad days.
That’s the famous reply to how is someone who is dying question.
And of course it’s true, for us all.
A good day is a good day.
A bad one is not a good one.

I could count the things that make me lucky.
I could count the things that don’t make me lucky.

We can all do that. See the sunshine. Forget the rain.
Be glad we can do … something.
Mourn the fact that we can’t do .... something.

Age is relative. Age is a number.
Energy is in our grasp.
And it’s not.

Peanut butter and shingle crackers.
Off-brand soda.
Cats with an odd number of eyes.
Old dogs.

No alcohol and very little sugar.
Dr. appointments and a primary election in the same week.
Choices and expectations and failures as well as victories.

Flowers bloom.
Some wait on the deck to be planted....
…and they never will be.
Still they open up to the sun and share their stamens -
pollen to the wind -
color and shape to future memories
scent as well
sent to the future from the past
alight only in the present.

The world is as green as it can be.
This is the day it’s greenest.
Tomorrow might be too.
Yesterday was, in fact.

Life and baby deer
Birds alive and aflight
Calves in their own world
Grandchildren almost grown.

So anyway –
what is the answer?
Is there one?
Probably not.
but that’s ok
the question is all.

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Last updated June 05, 2022