Derp in Current Events

I felt a lot lighter after I wrote my previous entry. I also bought a new audible about procrastination, I am hoping I gain something from it. It also talks about addiction and habits.

The addiction I cannot seem to quit is pornography. I had to admit to myself that it was an addiction the other day when I could not stop thinking about it while I was at work. I’ve quit cigarettes, eggs, meat, dairy and a litany of toxic habits but this one is the hardest.

I started to write down every little thing that I could in regards to what I want, to what I feel and to what I need. I am aiming to organize my thoughts, set some goals to become goal-oriented again. I really want to organize my thoughts. I am scatter brained.

I have been so clumsy and stupid lately. Maybe there is a retrograde but I am not that clumsy of a person. I stub my toes, bump my head, drop everything. I forget that I left things on. I didn’t close my car door properly and the interior lights were on all night. Things like that.

I’m only on chapter two if that audible and it is kind of funny because they discuss a man named Tom who has a sleeping problem. They described his struggle to stop wasting his evening with naps. That’s exactly what my current problem is. I am a man named Tom with a sleeping problem. I saw it coming, the sleeping problem. This fucking daylight savings bull-ass-shit fucks me the fuck up irrevocably every fucking year. I will not have it together until we change it back. I am just so tired of being tired all of the time so I just nap it off. I will have to force myself to correct this.

I took Toni, my roommate, to a restaurant in the area for her birthday. It was an East Indian restaurant and they could not understand the concept of “no dairy.” It was a fight, they kept trying to tell me that Ghee was okay. Long story short, I have been fighting my first acne breakout since I went vegan 6 years ago. I’ll live, I’m just pissed off.

It’s also my six year veganniversary this week.

One of the department supervisors told me something today that lifted my spirits up a bit. I mentioned that a full-time position opened up for my team and that I am applying. She got excited, she likes having me around. I mentioned that I’m not 100% confident that I will get it. She told me that when all of the managers get together for meetings, the store manager always brings me up. She brings up my whole team but then brings me up individually because she is extremely impressed with me. That recognition made me feel good. I have to keep that a secret of course.

I am picking up more overtime this weekend. It’s time and a half again. I decided to spend that a little early and I bought myself some succulents. I also bought some table lamps from Amazon. New curtains are on the way also. I’ll get some more planters and some macrame hangers for them so I can hang them from my ceiling. Get some life up in my space. The one succulent I bought is drop dead gorgeous. It’s green right now but it will turn a deep purple. Love that shit.

Anyway, if I didn’t nap today I would be falling asleep right now. Instead I’m wide awake. Blah! I shall go lay in bed anyway.

Last updated May 31, 2022