Forward in Current Events

I cannot organize my thoughts. In turn, I cannot organize my life. I don’t have a lot to put together but I don’t have enough structure. I am not goal oriented and I commit to procrastinating which becomes very toxic for me.

I grabbed a notebook first thing this morning and just started jotting down everything I can think of that has been weighing on my mind. Things to do, things to research, things to buy etc. I will create a little vision board if I have to. A decent to-do list to get me started, at least. I haven’t been able to look forward to life the last few years, I suppose. I know I am alone with that one.

I do know that we are in the eye of the storm, regarding medical politics. By medical I mean the vaccine inquisition intended to bind us all together under medical mandates. A one world religion of $cience. They lost the plot with con-19, with the vaccines and they are actually going to try again with the same old tricks. They rebranded the flu, then rebranded the symptoms of people detoxing and dying from the vaccines and now they are rebranding shingles. Shingles which are also caused by the vaccines. They’re even going to call everything a “case” again and use that to justify everything. We reached herd stupidity and the cable news suicide cult will eat it up.

I jotted down things that I want to vlog about. Things that I could discuss on TikTok or whatever. Just get my ideas out there. Or not? I feel compelled to grow a presence somewhere even though my social anxiety cannot stomach it. Especially since I am going to be going against the grain, against the social fabric. I’m a full heretic to everything. A modern heathen.

I have a small window to decide if I am going to attempt summer school. I will need to get some high school credits in chemistry, at minimum if I am aiming to become an apothecary/naturopathic doctor. My big goal would be to travel the continent or do online presentations with First Nations elders and knowledge keepers or anyone else that may be interested in learning about terrain theory. Our ways of healing was stolen and I want to help give it back. This can give them an opportunity to open their own clinics or shops etc. or whatever.

Yesterday at work I admitted to myself that I have a porn addiction. Since I turned thirty I have quit cigarettes, eggs, meat, dairy and a litany of toxic habits but this one has been the bane of my existence. Apparently. I came across a TikTok challenge where naughty things were happening and I couldn’t stop thinking about it at work. I have a problem lol. Frig. I was looking at toys also when I got home. I’m on the fence about getting those since I also want to explore semen retention. However, I already know that I don’t need to ejaculate to have orgasms. I can achieve the never ending ones but I only ejaculate because I don’t want my whole body to feel “charged”, so to speak. TMI, I know.

I haven’t had my interview yet for the full-time position at my work. If I do get it, which I’m 99.99% sure that I will, I will get a new phone. I can record content with that since my phone is jacked up and busted. I will also join a gym. A cheap one.

The weather is finally hot in my city. Guys are wearing their tanks and one can see who is working out. I don’t care or pay attention because they’re all five foot nothing. I only care or notice when they are tall. It’s not as easy for the tall guy club. I saw a guy in line at winners that was my height and fit as fuck. I wasn’t gushing over him, I was just inspired. I’m a living stick figure, I’ll never achieve what he has going on.

Also, I’ve been watching a little bit of kick boxing content. I kind of want to join one of those classes. Lol ugh

Anyway, I need to get ready for work now. Just needed to air out my mind a bit.