Regret - 05.10.13 in Your Face

  • Oct. 5, 2013, 6:42 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Posted this on Facebook earlier today, pretty much sums up where I'm at:


Ashleigh Funkelstein 6 hours ago Hello Facebook friends! I acted deplorably last night and I am feeling very embarrassed about it and trying to think about how I can make amends. I don't want this to happen again, so I am naming and shaming myself. None of the people involved are on my facebook page, so this is purely for me.

Most of you would know that I don't drink often, and when I do it's only one or two. Last night I decided to have a few drinks with work colleagues and see Toni Childs at Lizottes with some free tickets my office manager had won. And it was great! The show was good, wine was flowing, the company was fantastic.

Somewhere along the line though, I got rotten drunk. STINKING drunk.

I got up at one point to go to the bathroom, and while I was in the cubicle was telling my friend, "I didn't realise I was so drunk, I don't even recognise my own handbag. It looks different." She told me it was different, I had picked up my colleague's handbag instead of my own and trotted off with it.

The show ended and we stood outside arranging our lifts home. Well, I didn't stand, I slumped on some steps. My friend offered me a lift home, her daughter was coming to pick her up. I gladly accepted, as I had realised I could barely speak or stand and was just so stupidly drunk.

By the time we dropped another friend home, I was sick. I vomited out the car window, down the car window. At the friend's home I threw up on the road, and a little bit in my friend's car, on the door sill. I was given water and tissues, and I tried to clean it up. We drove a little bit further and I asked them to pull over so I could vomit again. I vomited and farted at the same time.

I finally got delivered back to my sister's house (where I am housesitting), and my friend had to find the keys in my bag for me and walk me into the house. I don't recall clearly, but I may have taken my pants off while she was still there.

This morning I have been very sick. Thinking back on the amount I had to drink, it doesn't seem like enough to warrant being so outrageously drunk and sick (3 beers, 4 wines) and I wondered if I could have had my drink spiked. I concluded that it hadn't, given that I am always vigilant with my drinks (even when drunk) and I was packed in among the 8 other people in our group, so no one else even came near me. I can only put it down to low alcohol tolerance, mixing drinks and punching down wines like nobody's business.

I can beat myself up about this as much as I want, but what I am more concerned about is how I behaved in front of my friend, I vomited in her car and on her car, and her poor daughter had to ferry a vomiting, farting, drunken idiot around. Aside from offering sincere apologies, I would like to buy a gift. The daughter is about 17, so I plan to buy her a Westfield gift card. As for my friend, who is about 40, I am not sure whether to get her a gift card as well (feels a bit weird) or to buy her flowers (not really the occasion). Any suggestions would be welcome.

Thanks for reading!


I'm still puking. I thought I got past it after puking 5 times this morning. Took a 2.5 hour nap, ate something small, puked again. Feeling gross and hungry and blergh.


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