Ram-Bull in Current Events

I know the risks when I order food from restaurants. My skin is breaking out, something I ate was contaminated with dairy. Usually, ulcers burn into my mouth before this point but I’ll be okay. I feel phantom pains now from when I had cystic acne. I no longer have acne since I quit dairy. I do have acne scars, however. This is one of my biggest insecurities.

While I’m on the topic of insecurities, my figure. My disfigure I call it. Very dramatic, I know. There is nothing wrong with my figure. I just always wanted to be shredded with massive gains. The only thing stopping me from achieving that is me, of course. My social anxiety is still something I fight with. I will bring myself to a gym.

Gay mannerisms, gay face and gay voice are the unholy trinity that makes up my social anxiety. I feel exposed and vulnerable in public. This is my own doing, of course. I don’t have to care. I stopped defining myself by my attractions. I do not wear identities. I am not a gender, I have a gender. I am not my attractions, I have attractions. I am not my ethnicity, I have an ethnicity. I am not my political beliefs, I am not a caste, creed or legacy. I’m just an individual consciousness having a temporary human experience. The closer I get to truth the closer I get to G.O.D. Evidently, this was the journey I was meant to be on.

My hair has always been my security blanket. Now it’s all falling out. I stopped hiding from that truth, however, I don’t know if I want to fight it or not. I’m just going to continue with the DMSO and see what happens. I don’t want to define myself by my physical appearance either. Even though I do feel that I am moderately nice to look at. Saturn in Capricorn gives me my cheekbones, Venus in my Taurus rising gives me my round eyes and chiselled face. My Scorpio placements give me potent sexual energy but I choose to be celibate. Control is a Scorpio trait and I use it to control myself for if I can control my strong libido then I can control anything within myself. Something to that effect.

I’m just rambling.

I am tired of being tired. I nap after my shifts which ruins my day. If I want to have the perfect amount of rest and energy then I need to be asleep before 8 pm. I will work on that. I have things that I need to do but I sleep instead. That is my toxic Taurus energy, the bane of my existence. I have all of the ambition of a Capricorn but all of the starter energy of a Taurus. Learning my birth chart really helps me understand what aspects about myself that I need to change. What I need to develop. What my skills are, what gives me meaning and where the universe doubles down for me. I must only use it for wisdom, not to advance myself or disadvantage anyone else. That is the left-hand path. No judgement.

I won associate of the month last week. It was nice to get recognition. I have their respect. I didn’t need it but it is nice to have. This weekend there is a job fair at one of my favourite shops near my place. I will apply. I want an evening and weekend gig.

I discovered somebody that I think is special online. He is just a content creator but he talks about the esoteric sciences. He modernizes it, I don’t think he even understands that. He takes this ancient information and modernizes it. Makes it for the times. The masses need everything spoon-fed to them at an eighth-grade level, in 200 characters and in 30-second sound bites. We are lied to about everything and the masses are dangerous because they don’t care. They don’t question and just go along with it all. Even those in the truth movement can make it so far and miss out on what is at the bottom of the rabbit hole. The flat-earth is the key that unlocks everything.

We are spiritualizing our own prison. We are spiritualizing politics, germ theory, the globe, and religion. None of it exists in reality. Once you hit the bottom of the rabbit hole and learn that our ancestors spoke in allegory, dark sayings and parables to separate the truth seekers from those who hate truth. Just as the Bible even explains.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4HI1Ip5dMSWta2im5srHA/featured

Anyway, it is time for bed. I am seeing syncs again. I can feel change happening. The message I am getting is about faith. There is no faith in my interpretations of what I am learning. There is no faith, just facts. However, I can see where faith fits in now. Sort of. I need to meditate on it. Big things are going to happen in the world soon. It’s going to get very ugly. I don’t know how I am going to get through it but I have to have faith.