Disapppointed final exam season in My life

I received some very kind comments on my last entry :). I definitely haven’t provided any context at all. I think my fiance and I have a great relationship, or it’s mainly great because he is such a great guy. Thank you, everyone for being kind!

I think I’m mainly trying to write here because I tell my fiance everything, and I have a lot of work stress, so it seems to burden him quite a bit. And I don’t like the way he supports (or doesn’t support) me in the specific matter of work stress.

I have a lot of disappointment in me, and I want to be able to vent it. But it seems like he can’t handle just all of it.

And it’s fine. Honestly we’re good together, but he can’t be my everything. I have to pull my own weights too.

Anyway, back to the title of this post. Disappointing final exams season. The first two I thought wasn’t horrible so I was pretty happy after they were done, but I guess TOO happy that I relaxed and wasn’t diligent in my last two finals anymore. Fourth semester of law school. It honestly sucks. My first year was bad so I’ve been wanting to improve and I really tried. Now I’m even more disappointed because my chances for improving my GPA is disappearing fast. And the thing about law school: your grades are just about everything. They determine your career.

I just wish I were better at this. I just want to be successful. I want it so bad. I’m disappointed in me.

Yeah, all these things I just need to get out of my system so I don’t burden my fiance anymore.

Law school is just brutal. At least for me. I haven’t had a single happy day since I enrolled in law school. To best honest, my four years of grad school before that sucked too. Basically, 6 years of postgrad education and I’m just never happy. It went downhill since college. College was good and easy, but I was brainwashed so I majored in something completely useless. Now I’m here tasting the consequence. I want to be successful but I guess I’m just not cut for it.

And yes I’m marrying someone who makes 6 figure. I’m all taken care of. He thinks that’s enough for me, but with guilt I say it’s not. I want to be successful on my own. I think I’m too selfish to appreciate him.

Last updated May 11, 2022