I'm Starting To Hate It Here in meh...

Well, I always hate it here, but it’s been…I’ve been…

For the most part, I’ve been fine. I’m in a tizzy right now because of others inconsideration once again. I swear it really doesn’t take much to piss me off these days. I have two jobs and I’ve started to watch my grandchildren. I only go home to sleep, shower, change clothes and go to work.

Mother’s Day was supposed to be mine. It started out great. My son finished cleaning the kitchen then we went to lunch. While at lunch my daughter, who is out of town, calls. The kids were supposed to be secured until Monday. Yet some how, they ended up with me. This turned my plans on its head. I’m still pissed.

The rub to all of this is that my daughter tried to make me feel sorry for her and be the damn victim while she is out of town living her best fucking life. What was gonna happen if I decided that me and my son would go out of town?? This bitch had the nerve to say “I can’t call they daddies.” Both of her kids father’s are dead. I know she can’t call the, but she can call the mfr who was supposed to hold them to the carpet. I do my part. I do waaaay more than my damn part. I’m these kids mother. Their mother, even when she’s in the same house with them is not present. She can be found on a live video stream, akin to onlyfans, but not only fans. She works a split shift and that sucks because guess where I am.

THEN had the audacity to say, “why don’t you just leave them at home alone?” Because of child endangerment shit. I can’t stand her. I wasn’t even mad at her at first. and I told her I wasn’t mad at her, but that bullshit she said, got me angry with her. I’m not fucking with her right now.

Then my second job starts in less than 4 days and I have no one to work for me. Two paid ushers have confirmed their help. Volunteers were emailed earlier today and not one has said anything. I foundout I was supposed to be the one to set up the volunteer sign up on United Way and it’s confusing. I don’t know what to do. So that’s stressful.

All of this on top of my regular day job. I’m behind on something there as well. I try to concentrate and its not helping. I haven’t seen my daughter today and I don’t really want to see her. I want to wait until the children fall asleep to leave, but they haven’t been to sleep at a decent time since I first started watching them. It’s always some thing that keeps the plan from going as it should.

This is why I pray. This is why I drink. This is why I occasionally smoke. I got a huge zit on my face at nearly 47 years old.

The babies are having a nerf gun war. I gotta go.

(smh)

Kindest regards,
Sister