Way past my bedtime. in Friends With the Benedicts

I'm up late. I know, that sounds weird coming from me, who is used to staying up all hours of the night. I have been keeping a regular schedule as of late. Going to bed around 10-11pm and waking up around the same time, usually earlier. But I wanted to come here and at least try and keep this updated as much as I can. I am not going to promise notes on bookmarks or any ryns', but it is what it is. So Wendy, the girl kitten in Kataleah's litter (the older litter that's like a little over 6 weeks) is gone. She was put to sleep a couple days ago. We thought she was having problems pooping then we take her in and it turns out she has a very rare congenital defect called Atresia Ani where a hole to the anus was never formed. That baby had SO much poop in her abdomen... the doc said she must have never pooped. Ever. It was heartbreaking and the experience was truly horrible and I don't even wanna talk about the experience right now. But I will say that I am so glad she is at peace and not in pain anymore. Because damn... I know that had to hurt. It only starts becoming a problem when they are weaned which is right on track for when we caught it. It just... when that vet brought the book in there and showed me, I was reading about Wendy. Everything was HER. I felt so validated and everything made sense. I just wanted to see her awake one last time, and it didn't happen. I have regrets. About the situation. I feel guilty and that is the worst feeling. I know that it wasn't our fault. Actually when they told me I felt a weigh lift knowing that there was nothing anyone could have done. Surgery might have saved her, but in the end she probably would have died anyway. And the surgery? Yea, to make an ass opening is HUGE. So... there's that. I know all that. I am unsettled about the way it went down. I will get over it. It'll just take time.
Wow, Laura made me let Kya in and then the babies needed water and I had to pee and now I am tired. LOL. Imma lay on the couch and nap till I wanna move to the bed. The sound of her playing her shooter game has always been able to lull me to sleep. Is that weird? LOL K, hope all is well witcha. ;) Bye...

Steph (OH... I'm gonna be changing my name soon to the one I was using at Easy Diary. I have been wanting a big name change for a while now. I will let yall know it's me n stuff. )