Boil, boil, toil, and trouble in Packrat

The boiling is from all the ceremonial cooking being done lately...I'm worn out from everything. We had an adoption ceremony planned and although we all knew what to do, last minute stuff stepped in, of course. I had to run to a city an hour and a half away on the day of because the moccasins hadn't even been started when I had been there a couple of days before. Other members of the family who aren't in the traditional community - and a few who are - made appointments ON THAT DAY when they needed to be at the "Indian house" getting everything ready. The adoption went well, though. An adoption is for the departed to be free to go to the other side because the family picks someone to be in that person's role in the family, not replacing that person but giving the family a father or brother or uncle to go to so the spirit isn't bound to the earth. It's also a way for the family to say "We give you our love". Once the adoption is done, the adoptee then gives a "return", which is in effect saying "I return that love". S/he cooks a pot, the family cooks, and everybody eats their first meal together as family. We had the return last night. He wanted to visit after, get to know his new kids, and he asked everybody what they prefer to be called. I told him I prefer to be known as Beloved Niece.

On the day of the adoption we felt good at how well it had gone, but at the same time in the afternoon that we were finally finished, my aunt died. She hasn't been doing well, and we had already been told it was just a matter of days, she didn't recognize anyone, but when you hear that about someone you love your heart can refuse to believe it. Mine did. We had her funeral Monday and Tuesday and tomorrow is what is called the "fourth day" feast at which the family cooks for the cooks and gravediggers as a thank you. We were so busy I feel I haven't had time to say good bye to her and now she's already gone, buried next to her husband; my dad is buried next to him.

Two naming ceremonies were planned for this week, my niece's and granddaughter's, but they had to be postponed. The shirt and dresses I had made are done and already distributed; I need to pick up and pay for the dress made for my mom, and my niece's two half brothers are getting shirts, too, which my mom commissioned. All different seamstresses.

Free Spirit and his wife are separated. He wants to come to our pow wow in July and bring his kids and said he'll need my help. Everybody is laughing at that because I'm not a kid person. I wanted to get him a new shirt for our closing feast later this year; he's had to borrow one from my brother for the last two ceremonies. I actually had one made for him a long time ago, but he can't fit it now, so I already told the seamstress I use the most (my aunt) that I'll be bringing her the material for a new dress and a new shirt. My mom quipped, "The same material?" I'm just letting this play out however it's going to.

S's mother passed away. He told me himself after everything was over. His business partner said he's so private that he wouldn't let him send out any notice. I went to our elected leaders to ask if they would acknowledge; we ended up having cards created that they all signed, along with the government secretaries, and then they asked me to write a personal note as well.

I'm wiped out. The heavy air (rain, rain) makes my allergies worse, and we're out in the heat over an open fire for these ceremonies. I'm not a cook, but I can cut and clean, and my brother joked that I had graduated to opening cans.

As hard as it can be, though, sometimes, I'm always proud to be a part of keeping our tribal identity alive.