Yoooooo in Since OD is shutting down....

My daughter goes back to school tomorrow after being out for 10 days. She will go until Friday and then have another week off. It’s just so hard trying to keep my kid on any kind of routine because school is so inconsistent. She’s napped once in this 10 days and I got a break a little bit when my Mom watched her so I could run and get food and then my brother watched her for about a half hour so I could run into the store for a couple of things.

I absolutely adore my child but trying to keep her entertained and constantly trying to find stuff to do is exhausting. Summer is coming very soon and then I need to figure out a pretty set routine where we aren’t just sitting at home most of the time and we have other people to hang around with.

My friend that I worked with messaged me yesterday to wish me a Happy Easter and said that she’ll give me a job if I’m looking. I told her that I’ll be available once school lets out to work at least a couple of days a week. I would like to find other people that need childcare and just watch kids so that mine has friends and I could make a little bit of money through the Summer. My Mom said that she put in her notice so I’m hoping she’ll be around some and not always have to take my daughter to a babysitter that’s 15 miles away.

I definitely don’t plan to rely on my Mom much as we’ve had lot of issues with her eating all of our food, not cleaning up after herself, not being reliable and I worry about my Dad dropping her off and trying to hang around while I’m away. But nevertheless, we will figure out something. There’s going to be days where we just hang out at home but I think if we have my Mom come here and there and create a routine, we’ll be alright.

Tomorrow, I’m going to make some phone calls about my situation with my daughter’s sperm donor and see if it’s possible to get another protection order. I don’t know how much good it’ll do when people on my side keep talking to him but if he does do anything, I’ll have a legal leg to stand on. I am truly concerned about our safety and I’m sorry that I ever let him come around. It’s not my problem he doesn’t have his own place or a car and I’ll be damned if we are ever alone with him again.

I should have never allowed him to come around with that protection order in place but felt that I had to keep proving how decent I was to people. I don’t have anything to prove anymore and I need to do what’s best for my child and myself. He’s a fucking mess and I’m not going to be the target anymore. I just wonder how many mental illness he has and has been diagnosed with. The guy can’t get along with anyone and talks to everyone the same fucking way he’s talked to me.

I can also say that I agree with the more chances you give someone, the less respect they will have for you. I’ve lived this. I am truly sorry I ever allowed this toxic, crazy person to be around my daughter or myself but ya live and learn. Never again will I allow him to be around us or in my home. I’m sorry but I’ve done what I could and now I’m going to worry about our safety and I don’t care who gets upset about it.

Last updated April 24, 2022