Job and childcare concerns. in Since OD is shutting down....

I have gotten an email for a job and they want me to reach out and schedule an interview. It’s at a place with benefits and a hefty sign-on bonus. I don’t know if this is just for full time or not, I need to do some reading but I would like to at least interview and see what it’s all about. It’s in a different field than what I’m used to and there’s a girl I know that works for the same company but I don’t know what location she works at.

I’m trying to just work part time as I want to have a good work/home life balance and because it’s easier to find childcare if I’m not working 5 or 6 days a week. I’d rather only have to figure it out once or twice a week if needed, such as there’s no school.

Daycare is out of the question because most of these people are arrogant and feel as though they are just raising your children and only see them as paychecks. I also have a lot of haters here and worry about people taking out their feelings about me onto my child. I’m terrified of someone mistreating my child and people here don’t need a reason to be malicious, if they want to be shit then they will be.

I know that childcare assistance is an option but I don’t plan to go that route for a number of reasons and one of them is you are on the hook for the co-pay for an entire year. That means if I got sick and lost my job or something happened where I wouldn’t be able to work, I would still have to pay hundreds every month until my year was up. I don’t want to be stuck not only in a daycare situation again but end up paying a fuck ton of money for nothing. I have already spoke to them and they can’t do anything once you have been approved for it and something happens.

It’s also crazy to me how many people are super greedy and want an unrealistic amount of money to watch kids. I can’t pay someone more than what I earn and I also can’t pay someone to the point of me bringing home absolutely nothing so that I have childcare. I also have zero trust in people when it comes to my child. I am not going to just find some random on social media to watch my kid and I also don’t feel comfortable with anyone inside my house when I’m not home. I’ve already gone down that rabbit hole and it doesn’t end well for me.

It probably sounds like I’ve been fucked over a lot and have severe trust issues which is 100% accurate. I just can’t trust anyone because every time I’ve done that, I’m sorry for it. I also know that there’s a lot of people here that don’t like me because no one here lets go of a grudge and I worry I’d find someone to watch my kid that doesn’t like me and will take it out on her. My daughter is almost 5 and still doesn’t understand when people are mean and I don’t trust that she would tell me if something was wrong because she’s super forgiving.

I also want to find a really positive, professional work place as I have never had that. I don’t want to work with people that just stand around and talk shit about whoever’s not there and people talking about other people’s private lives. I know that the next job I have will be different as I’m a lot more transparent and will say exactly how I feel. I also know that if the job is bringing me down and making me feel panicky, even when I’m not there I will be quitting faster than shit. I will not have anything disrupting my inner peace ever again.

I realize that i have a lot of residual anger for my last job and that’s why no matter where I work now, I will never again put up with a bunch of shit like I did before. It’s also annoying that I was never off work when scheduled and I worry about the next place being like that. Most people have to have a set schedule because they have children and for me, I’m a Mom and a single Mom so I have to leave when I’m supposed to.