Baffled in Still Listening to Spirit

I swear I am not going to write much but need to .... whatever.

Today I stayed an extra hour at Heath's request, and finally left as meeting did not take place. Not a big deal, used to this I think.

BUT, I am very discouraged, distraught still and ended up changing my clothes after work and going upstairs without hardly speaking to Hub. I just needed to cry, feel sorry for myself, and wonder what in the world is wrong with me!!!

It has to be me because me is all I can control, change, live with.

Pity pot thinking: I don't have a desk or even an area on the counter that is mine. I couldn't get near a computer of any kind to do the tour billing Heath wanted done. I just can't carry one more burden, help one more person, do one more thing beside what I am doing. The yard is out of control. Hub can't mow and I doubt I can either. Nor can I hire someone right now. I think it is time to stop struggling, bow down to the inevitable, and just end this whole fiasco now. Jumping off the end of the railroad dock into the cold, cold water seems the best solution.