It's Tax Season in Journal

and the first time we’re doing Crypto on the tax forms.
Also the first time we have enough assets to even shake a stick at. It reminds me that most people pay professionals to do this. lol. I’m not sure what is worse. To go through this masochistic ritual myself or the sadistic pleasure of putting someone else through it.

I am reminded also of the stark contrast between my life before I kicked out my mother, and after I kicked out my mother.
I do not believe in coincidences. At least, not when fundamental life decisions or attitudes are involved. I do not believe for a second that it was because of coincidence that I accepted the inevitable choices of my mother, walked away from her, and then became wealthy. It was less than 6 months between the deFoo, and the launching of our future. It was like I finally cut the chain that held me to the past, and shot like a rocket into my future.
There are so many different attitudes that I shed all at once. It was really a transformative process. But, reflecting on a few of them,
I remember that I had such a foggy view of my future. I resisted and hated thinking more than just a few weeks ahead. I had an emergency fund for catastrophic disasters. But I had nothing in mind for the sustained maintenance of my day-to-day existence.
I remember the incredible disconnect that I always felt around my parents, especially after I moved out of their house. I visited relatively often, and it always seemed that they were doing something that required amazing amounts of time, resources, money, and thought. They put down bamboo wood flooring. They built a horse barn. They put in a kitchen. They built a pergola and a flagstone patio. They got another horse. They boarded the horses because the barn they built wasn’t “good enough”. And, at the same time, I was working 3 jobs. I was on food stamps. I scraped up enough money to cover the car note, the mortgage, and electricity. I would wear the same clothes for days if I could, just to save on buying detergent. I would use the barest amount of toilet paper. I put water in my shampoo bottles. I actually tried no-poo for awhile.
I really don’t expect that I should be handed money or resources or anything like that. But I think that… I really really really just wanted acknowledgement of the situation. I wanted to know that they knew what they had traded me in for. I feel so sad typing this. DH said it best.
“Just look at what they traded in to get all that stuff.” he said, softly. Quietly.
Yes. It was me. My parents- my mother in particular- passed me off to earn money. She ignored me in favor of working. Her time was better spent earning that cheddar than in fulfilling her obligation as a mother. She traded motherhood in for stuff. Avoiding my struggle, my financial strife, was required to enjoy her opulent bounty.
Well, bless her. She can have it.